Completely irrelevant tales
by moon-soon
Summary: As on the tin. Glee friendship or not drabbles. chapter 10 up, boyfriends, breakups and new starts. LAST CHAPTER.
1. Iron man, pingpong helmets and brittney

**It actually came in handy**

Mercedes had taken Quinn shopping the day she had moved in. "My dad's bankrolling this little venture I promise," and took her to the mall. They were only there for like half an hour where Tina showed up map in hand and a strange green football helmet on her head. "Girl, why are you wearing Artie's ping pong helmet?"

Quinn contemplated the fact that Artie had a ping pong helmet, and then contemplated it again because she couldn't have heard that right. "Shouldn't you be asking how I got it?" she raised her eyebrows mischievously; she took it off and placed it on Quinn's head. "Seriously though you're gonna need this." Mercedes rolled her eyes but Tina bobbed her black and blue hair seriously, "you've never seen us shop."

Quinn almost laughed until Tina pulled out a colour coded, brightly circled map and Mercedes pulled out a pointer, "okay strategy, we have labelled every maternity store in Lima. Then every one in the ten mile radius and then every store that might sell maternity wear." Mercedes slapped the map hard with her pointer and Tina winced. "the blue has the most affordable, green has the prettiest, yellow has the biggest range of clothing and orange for possible places to stop and eat, we'll need to be hydrated, last time Kurt fainted."

"Also I don't want to see you go near a baby doll dress this entire trip," Quinn let herself be steered towards Mercedes care; this must have been one of the nicest, craziest things anyone had done for her.

But she didn't care what either of them said; she totally rocked a baby doll dress.

**Some take it harder than others**

At first Artie had been flattered, than mildly annoyed, than very annoyed. "Puck, why are you here?" he sighed, he really could go for banging his chair against the wall a couple of times right about now. Puck shouldn't be in his room, this shouldn't happen, it should be impossible. There should be safe guards for this kind of thing.

"What Abrams? Embarrassed I'm seeing you Iron man sheets, yeah well you should Robert Downey Jr. is a loser," Artie judged if he could maybe get to the window fast enough to throw himself out of it before Puck could react. "For the last time Iron man is awesome, it's just an undeniable truth and Puck why are you here? Again."

Puck glared "what? You owe me, I defended your honour that one time and made you all those cupcakes so we could get your cripple bus." There had to be at least three meters from the window to where he was. "Didn't you get the student body high?" Puck smirked, "high enough that that cute goth chick made out with you."

"Fair enough, look I realise you and Finn are having troubles right now," Puck stood up sharply, but Artie couldn't resist "and I know break ups are hard-"

Turns out Puck was more than prepared to help Artie leave his room via his window.

**Well Mr. Sparkles is literate **

Brittney liked looking at the Rachel Berry shrine. Rachel had been embarrassed when her dads had shown her, but the little girl that looked like Rachel in the pictures wore very pretty dresses- so sparkly. "Brittney why are you here?" Rachel blushed; Brittney stared blankly and then looked away, distracted by the bright stars all over Rachel's bedroom.

"Oh" she spotted Rachel's cat "is he reading your diary too," she pointed an accusing finger and the bored feline, "Mr Sparkles would never" Rachel gasped and then caught herself feeling ridiculous. "Brittney why are you here?"

"Wasn't I always here?" she asked in a confused tone "no wait that's not right, I remember" she walked quickly bee-lining to Rachel, "it's nothing personal but I have a record to keep."

The kiss was so quick, Rachel wasn't sure it even happened. She was however sure she stood in that same spot for four hours.

**Don't I know you?**

Before Kurt was out of the closet (transparent as it was), he used to surf the LGBT support sites for teens, because Lima was a small hick town and there was literally no one to talk to about that kind of thing.

Carman_Santiago11 was honest, fun and surprisingly deep, and after the initial disappointment of finding out Santiago was a girl, a great friend. He had never really connected with anyone before, on this kind of level, Santiago could relate to everything he was going through. Kurt told her about Derek from next door and she told him about this girl in that sat next to her who did gymnastics, and wouldn't that be a good way to get close to her?

It wasn't until high school Carman_Santiago11 totally forgotten, that Kurt saw it in the school directory. He had just started glee, and was trying to find Mercedes' email address in the school directory, so they would never have the unfortunate clashing accident he had to suffer through today. And there it was, it had caught his eye between Terri Lina and Aaron Monty. The email address.

High school bitch, cheerleader and apparently lesbian, who knew? Kurt wasn't sure to do but in the case of a fellow Lima closet case he figured he'd better keep his mouth shut. And hope if she ever found out, she'd do the same.

**I really think I do**

"Oh God I think I love you" Mike wanted to slap his hand over his mouth as soon as he said it, he was lucky when the other boy just laughed "I tend to have that affect on people." Mike shifted again; nothing had ever felt this right, "besides Kurt was like this the first time too."

"Really" Mike could hear is voice tighten which was stupid and unreasonable, "do you do this often with him." He almost wished he could see his face, but couldn't at the angle. "Try only all the time, but mostly after football practice, he says it helps him relax." Then he suddenly pulled away, Mike almost whined, "there better?"

Mike turned to face him and smiled, "you have the most amazing hands," moving his shoulder, the knot from the spin he performed completely gone. "Physio teaches you a few things, and I have strong hands," Artie smiled goofily. "Though really I get it when Tina does it, but do you really have to moan when I do it?"

**sparkly pink with little white flowers**

Kurt and Mercedes were driving Finn crazy, and the sleepover hadn't even started. They were all giggling and stuff and he couldn't even think. He had enough trouble thinking when there was no giggling. There was a knock on the door, and then there was also Tina, who was nice but sometimes cried and Finn did not handle crying girls well- he's not sure how Artie did it. She was fortunately not crying, and had a bunch of make up and hair drier and what appeared to be a long set of tongs. "Hi Finn" she said sweetly and pushed passed heading to the living room where Kurt and Mercedes were setting up a ping pong table. God why couldn't they do this in Kurt and Finn's room so he could get some peace.

The door bell rang and this time it was Artie, "dude!" Finn said happily cause Artie most defiantly was a dude, a non giggly one at that, without scary hair tongs, just a bunch of DVDs. "hey Finn," he grinned and Finn briefly wondered how he'd gotten up the steps, before realising for the first time the Hummel's had a ramp in their garden that connected to the front of the house.

"Okay now we need to plan this because if we don't want to watch Valentine's day or dream girls we need a strategy," he wheeled in and Finn was glad, Artie knew how to deal with his girls. "Okay I have 'Iron Man 2' because Tina loves Robert Downey Jr and well who doesn't?" Finn nodded because it was so true, "I also have 'Good Luck chuck'- a disguised chick flick with lots of sex or 'Forgetting Sarah Marshal' funny if you can stand the male nudity." Finn didn't think he could.

"Artie!" Mercedes yelled rushing in and grabbing his chair pulling it forward, "we set up the table and Tina's got your helmet," Artie grinned, "oh good, PREPARE TO DIE HUMMEL" he yelled as Mercedes pushed his forward.

Finn heard a "bring it bitch" from the other room, and sighed he'd clearly lost Artie to the dark side. There was no escaping, he just hoped Artie was still enough of a man to stop them painting Finn's nails while his slept.

…

No such luck.

**Of course she ships for selfish reasons **

Rachel was beginning to suspect foul play; clearly Mr Shuester was trying to ruin her life. He'd given her solo away, and not even someone from the beta couple: Mercedes or Artie. She wasn't even paired with Finn for the dance, it was ridiculous.

"Are you sleeping with him," Rachel asked shrilling when they were alone, "w-w-what" Tina stuttered, "that's none of your business!" Rachel was outraged, so it was true! "I knew you couldn't be getting all those solos on your own." Tina looked shocked, "All those? Rachel I've had three while in glee and I don't think Artie has the power to give solos." Wait what? "Not Artie! Mr shuester" Artie was supposed to date Mercedes anyway, to show Finn singing partners are good together, you know set a good example.

"ew gross!" the Asian girl look mortified, "I'm going to have to ask you to seek professional help." Tina stormed off, but that's only because she knew Rachel was on to her.


	2. Ugly Shirts, vampirism and friendmances

**Subject: orange and green flowered shirts **

When Fridays are voted on at a PTA meeting and suddenly became casual Fridays, no one thought much about it. What's the difference; the teachers get to wear jeans on Fridays and are maybe a little nicer, because everyone is a little nicer in jeans. Except Sue, who is in fact meaner in jeans.

However Matt was not prepared for Mr Schuster. He liked the man really, he was kind of awesome and helped him with glee and sometimes Spanish (which he should probably do more of cause he's pretty sure he's failing, due to his inability to complete any oral assignments.) Anyway Mr Schuster great guy, and apparently had a lousy fashion sense.

"Mr Schu," Mr Schuster wore a ridiculous smile, that went with his ridiculous hair (which was always ridiculous so that was neither here nor there) that match his ridiculous shirt.

"I hate to sound like Kurt," and he really, really did, "but what are you thinking." He gestured to the garnish Hawaiian shirt with colours so mismatched he swore that Mr Schu must be in league with that fashion challenged guy in the wheelchair from glee club. "It's casual Friday, Matt!" while Matt likes that Mr Schu remembers his name (he's the only teacher besides the couch who does) he can't help but say, "well yeah, but it's not casually blind the student body Friday is it?"

He just laughed, "I see you got the memo."

**Too easy**

"No." was all she said because this couldn't be right, no this was wrong. Quinn slammed down her Spanish paper, "what is this?" she winced inwardly because that had been overly dramatic and vaguely Rachel Berryish and that just wouldn't stand. "What is this" she repeated and Mr Schuster for the most part just looked surprised, "I'm sorry, Quinn what seems to be the problem?"

How could he not know? It was right there, garnish and red and written clearly on the top of her paper. "You gave me a 'B'?" her voice was on the shrill side but dammit she was pregnant and hormonal and receiving an appalling grade from a usually lenient teacher. "A 'B' is good Quinn, your one of the best in the class."

She actually grabbed him by his shirt, "a 'B' is not an 'A' Mr Schuster, and I can't have a 'B' tarnishing my record." She could actually feel herself well up, "a 'B' is fantastic considering-" it was too late she was crying, okay no, bawling. "Mr hushu huhster," she cried "I can't I mean I can't do this, my parents will never take me back after they hear about thisssss."

Twenty minuets later her mark had been bumped up to a A- and Quinn skipped away to Find Mr Williams, that bitch was trying to give her a C+ in math.

**Next he'll give you his class ring**

When Puck received a text from Artie he almost cried from laughing so hard. Then he remembered that he owed the guy for using some sort of cripple magic and getting Finn to speak with him again (Cripples- or at least Artie, must have some sort of negotiation-magic like to make up for the not being able to walk thing, like daredevil except not lame and no spandex.)

On the way to collect Artie from the bathroom, he stopped by the choir room just as glee was starting. See the culprit siting in the back row, like he hadn't committed some horrific act against glee protocol and picked on Artie. Jesus even he didn't do it that much anymore. Except when he threw him out the window that one time, but he was being a smug bastard so it's not like he had a choice.

He strolled purposeful in, Rachel was squawking about something, but she always squawking so it's easy to tune out. He stuck his hand out, "give it," Kurt smirked up at him, "I should have known he'd send you. Well tell him I can't," his crossed and uncrossed his legs like a freaking women and Puck wanted to hit him. "Why?" Kurt was all smug and the rest of glee was getting curious, "I burnt it." Which was a total lie; he probably stashed it and was keeping it as some kind of sick trophy that was totally something Hummel would do.

Puck lifted him out of the chair by his shirt, "you're so lucky I have somewhere to be," he dropped him on the ground and he left to collect Artie who was hiding shirtless in a handicapped stall.

"He just attacked me, and ripped it off," Artie complained- which was fine cause if some deranged gay guy stole his shirt he'd be pissed too, especially since Kurt seemed to have wandering hands. "Do you want me to chuck him in the dumpster?" Artie sighed, predictably shook his head as a no and put on Puck's football jacket, while Puck pretended not to notice that he was pretty ripped for a guy in a wheelchair, cause that was pretty gay. And he's pretty sure Artie had met his gay quota for the day the second Kurt started molesting him and stole his shirt and left him with only his suspenders- which oddly enough he still had on.

Puck wheeled Artie to the choir room for what would be most likely, Artie yelling for two seconds and then all being forgiven. Puck probably wouldn't chuck Kurt in the dumpster for this, because he had to agree.

It had been a fucking ugly shirt.

**No I wasn't joking**

Puck wasn't sure why every year got class ring; it sort of defeated the point. The good news was the next time Artie made fun of him going to fight club or his problems with Finn or made fun of his sheets and things uniform, he had something heavy and metal to throw at him.

**I'm sure that was almost sweet**

When Santana and Mercedes got sent to Miss Pillsberry's office, it had been a colossal waste of time. Santana pretended she's sorry she pulled out a chunk of Mercedes weave and Mercedes told her it was okay and that those scratch marks would probably not scar if she used a cream she had.

Apparently she and Kurt get into these sorts of –hold-my-earrings-remove-my-bling-take off-my-Gucci-jacket fights all the time, and she knew a bitch scratch when she saw one. Santana's hand flew up to her face, damn.

They sort of avoided each other for a while, and then Santana got a card in her locker. Not a note, an actual card. Custom made it had to be, she didn't think they sold 'sorry I dated your boyfriend and gave you a black eye' cards at the Lima drugstore. Next to it there was a small tub of cream, the next day the mark was gone and it's like it had never been. She still had to wear shades everywhere but it was almost not noticeable now.

Santana sweet talked Mike into helping her make it her spare time in computer lab, he was the only acceptable guy she knew that knew anything about computers.

Next time Mercedes opened her locker she found a large banner that read, 'I like you, but next time you mess with me you'll be more than one kind of knock out.'

**Mr Sensitive, Ohio **

When Finn and Mike hang out Finn's never sure what to say, because Mike actually is one of those new modern guys that came into the world knowing. The guy that loves to dance and is awesome at football. He's also the kind of guy that was totally cool with gaga, and making cupcakes and slashing tiers for a good cause.

So Finn did the only sensible thing he could and asked Mike for sensitive guy training. He was going to ask Matt but he caught him stuffy 'creepy Jacob' in a locker so that was out, and he asked Artie but he said most of his niceness came from being paralysed- and Finn didn't think he had that kind of commitment. He cared, but not breaks his legs cared so that was out.

Mike laughed mostly. He told him he wasn't insensitive, just a little socially unaware. It was almost an insult, but Finn ignored it, because it was this or Artie's way and he liked his legs for running and jumping and doing awesome high kicks and stuff.

In the end he ended up taking him home and introducing Mike to Kurt's dad; which sort of felt a little gay, but Finn hoped Burt would see it as sensitive by association.

It went well, but he thinks Burt may like Mike a little too much and is now planning Mike and Kurt's wedding. Mike whines but Finn just punches him and tells him to stop being so sensitive about it- that's what had gotten him in this mess in the first place.

**There is also a toll free number 1800-love-bites **

When the no-goth rule began, Tina had considered it for a moment. Artie had said he hadn't liked the goth look and she should wear tighter clothes. But she thinks he only said that because he was still sorta pissed at her and Puck kept trying to replace Finn with him and gave shitty advice. He apologised later and took her to dinner and gave her a whole bunch of flowers which she had pressed in one of her Anne rice novels and all was forgiven.

Mercedes actually laughed at her when she told her about the goth ban, ("has Figgins even read twilight, the vampires are more Abercrombie and Fitch than Marilyn Manson.)

Eventually she suggested skater/rocker chick, close enough to her original style to not feel like a total reject but different enough she wasn't Goth. Well sort of, well not really.

After several Avril lavine jokes and tripping injuries due to unsafe pants, Tina changed back into sweats and went to find Santana and Brittney. Which was also a mistake because those girls loved fashion a little too much, Brittney gave her look that was a little bit cheerleader a lot slutty and was vetoed pretty much immediately for her sanity.

Santana gave her stilettos- and that ended how she thought it would. It was Mr Schuster who gave the idea of gaga- and Kurt helped her with the champagne bubble dress. It was fun but ended up being sort of dangerous. Tina had a totally new respect for Kurt if he was always being shoved around like that. She personally would have snapped. She also hadn't realised that she actually had never gotten teased as much as she had thought for whole goth look.

In the end, embracing her inner vampire turned out to be the right thing to do (though she refused to sparkle as that sounded a little degrading.) she loved her lady demon clothes and Artie told her although he totally digged the hooker heals, he had missed the lace more than he'd cared to admit, and missed the old her more than he should ever admit.

Much later after she had showed him how much she had missed him, Artie retold a rather memorable encounter with Figgins, who had come up to him and told him that there were support groups for this kind of thing, pointing to his admittedly red and bitten neck.

**Life had just begun but now you've gone and thrown it all away**

When Rachel ran into Jesse after nationals all the glee club- san Quinn who only had leave from hospital so they could sing to Mr Schuster- had been there. They had been enjoying celebration slushies for a renewed year for glee club and Quinn's successful birth. He pulled her aside, though most of the club had looked upset and she was sure one of the boys even growled at him.

There were heated words, and he said to her he was sorry and to his credit looked it. Then she almost took him back. Almost. She had to admit no one was ever going to get her like Jesse. She was high maintenance and self-centred and he was understanding and equally high maintenance and those were probably good reasons to say yes. But him 'getting her' doesn't mean she wouldn't be happier without him. Perfect understanding was over rated, after all she understood Jesse perfectly. She understood perfect what a complete loser he was.

He ended up kissing her and she ended up slapping him, and the glee club ended up cheering in the background. She was tempted to throw her slushy on him, but threw away the temptation and ran to the bathroom because she was not crying. She was not.

And when she returned Jesse was gone that was be fine, and when she returned and all of her friend's slushies were mysteriously gone- well that was better.


	3. skinny jeans, cheerleaders and ooc sue

**Author's note: **you may notice these don't really fit the humour theme- but truth is I'm not all that funny so cracky semi-serious stuff for all! (there will be funnier stuff next time and hopefully shorter stuff) All the drabbles (okay mini stories- I suck at making things short) were inspired by: http:/ ruttadk .deviantart. com /gallery/#/d2rcx5y if anyone has any characters they would like to see interact or situations just request and I'll do them next chapter.

**I may have an OP4: Artie/Tina/Mike/jeans**

Tina was starting suspect Glee was a big more of a costly venture than first expected. It was alright for girls like Quinn and Rachel; they already had clothing like the stuff they have to wear for the performances. She expects that that's why they push so hard for those kinds of clothing for the performances in the first place.

She guesses it could have been worse, she could be Artie, who had, had to borrow Kurt's jeans for they're first number 'push it'- and then later had to buy a set for several other jean related numbers. Tina suspected Artie had given Kurt some money to get them and tried not to think about having to wear jeans, which he hated.

She just didn't understand how everyone in Glee had these similar kinds of clothes with the obvious exceptions of Artie and her own 'unique' styles. Okay so no, what she couldn't understand is how everyone in glee already had coloured skinny jeans- what had Miley Curys become cool when she wasn't looking? She didn't think so.

So it was just her and Artie, Oh and Mike who had looked just as confused about the whole jean situation as they were. He was now thumbing through a wrack of Jeans muttering to himself. "How is it even possible they all have these pants," he threw aside a pair of bright purple and black jeans in disgust; Tina privately made a mental note of where he had thrown them. "Well Strictly speaking they didn't need red pants, we were split four people into four groups with a colour." Artie pointed out, trying to reach for a promising folded set on a higher shelf.

"The other jocks got blue, lucky bastards! That's the last time I show up late for rehearsals," he shoved another set back on the hanger- they were red… but with neon yellow stripes and looked vaguely reminiscent of The Flash's pants. Tina pulled down the jeans Artie had been reaching for, "I wonder where Brittney got hers" she wondered out loud.

"Got them!" Artie held up a red pair in triumph, "awesome! Are they in my size?" Mike leaned directly over Artie, Tina stifled a laugh and glad Mike wasn't tall like Finn or that would be a really uncomfortable for Artie, though she thinks he must be used to looking at crotches all day anyway. "Here, what's your size?"

Tina wondered off to the girl side, where it was much easier to find coloured jeans without digging through the half priced bin. She quickly changed to see if they fit and ran back over to the boys were, but they were being yelled at by a manager, Artie looked sort of amused and Mike looked sort of like he might punch the guy in the face. As she got closer she could hear "-can't just go in the change rooms together, don't think I don't know what you people do in there."

He looked them up and down; Artie was half holding Mike back decidedly less amused, holding him by the wrist and the back of his shirt. "What are you stupid? You don't have to disability stall here, he needs someone to assist him!" he yelled before snatching both sets of jeans from the manager, stalking over to Tina and taking hers to, with a curt "if they don't fit I'll return them" and stomped off to pay.

Later when they had pretzels and Mike could speak coherently again they all talked, "you shouldn't take it personally Mike, Tina," Artie said not unkindly, but he didn't think either friend heard him. "I just- people like that- they're not my kind of people." Mike admitted decidedly, Tina nodding eminently. Tina slung her arm around each friend for comfort and Artie broke out into a wide grin and said "well that's alright because you're my kind of people," and all three grinned, looking down at the stupid matching red jeans they were wearing. Turns out they were all a perfect fit.

**In which honesty is received in a form of a bitchslap**

Finn had expected some retribution for the- the 'thing' he had said to Kurt. He knew it was wrong the second he had said it, but he hadn't been wrong, not about saying the 'thing'. That had been wrong. Very wrong, it was everything else and now It was like it hadn't really happen at all. Yeah Kurt's dad had reamed him out and temporarily thrown him out, but he had apologised and explained and Burt turned the study into a bedroom for him. They then sort of pretended nothing had happened. Cased closed.

So weeks later; he was not expecting his door kicked in by a furious Mercedes. "FINN" she yelled, it was a real angry yell too, and Finn would know, he had all kinds of experience with angry women. "er- hi Mercedes?" he asked weakly, remote control previously in hand dropped to the floor. "You awful, stupid bastard!"

Kurt rushed in from downstairs at the noise "who died!" he asked watching in surprise as Mercedes pulled Finn off the floor by his shirt, throwing him on the couch. He then let out his on yelp and Mercedes pulled him to the couch by his scarf ("gently, gently you know how much this costs!")

She stood in front of them angry and steaming for a while, silent. Then she said "so I was talking to Tina today," both boys winced "yeah she's not very good at keeping her mouth shut now that she can talk properly." Both hands were on her hips, "She said three weeks ago Artie got a late night call, rushed over here." Finn had made the call, Kurt's father had left and Finn couldn't bear to go back in that room and make it worse and he was so angry he knew he would.

Artie had sort of lost his shit at Finn too, though his voice had been perfectly calm, Finn had never seen Artie that upset. Finn had carried him downstairs and when they came back up in the morning everything was alright. Finn hated to agree with Puck, especially on something so stupid, but Artie really must have some sort of 'everything's okay' magic power. Which was totally cool but so not the point.

"The things said," her voice was uneven, and Kurt looked like he wanted to cry all over again, "from both of you." She looked very pointed at that, and Finn suddenly felt a little relieved. Sure Mercedes was completely crazy right now and angry as hell at Finn, but maybe she didn't actually agree with the way Kurt had been treating Finn, the way he was still treating him.

"I can't even believe," she sat down on the coffee table in front of them, "I know you haven't talked about it, I mean you called Artie for God's sake. And as much as I love Artie his motto is practically 'sit down you're rocking the boat.'" Kurt let out a sob laugh and Finn felt sick, his skin prickling up, so that thing with Artie had been a bigger thing than he thought. That look, those words.

"Well I don't believe in that," she stroked Kurt's hair a little, but looked Finn straight in the eye. "We're going to rock this boat until we all fall out dammit, don't worry I brought life jackets, now you. speak."

And Finn opened his mouth. And he spoke.

**Until you make yourself sick**

There had been a plan, go to the carnival, each carnival food and ride rides until they felt sick. Terri would have hated it, complained every step of the way, but smiled those secret smiles at him at the end on the day. The kind of forever smiles he missed so much, the kind that made him still feel an ache of longing- even if he could never act on it again- that when he kissed her, he just knew. That it was forever.

He had planned it for Emma though, she would have hated it too, she'd smile every step of the way while trembling at the thought of it all. She didn't smile forever smiles at him, she used to smile with longing, with trust and admiration. Now she barely smiled at him at all. He didn't feel an ache of longing, it was like his whole chest collapsed and he was on the best pain relief money could buy. Completely numb but totally aware.

He wanted her back. No, he wanted the her he never got to have because he had been stupid, or inconsiderate, or married or completely in love with his wife.

Now all he wanted was to be completely in love with Emma, and she just didn't have room for him anymore. He imagined taking her to a small place in the big maze of people. In the funhouse, or on the ferries wheel and just leaning over, and she wouldn't be mad she be happy and he-

"Mr Schu," Finn called waving his hand over his face, "are you alright?" asked Rachel curiously, he smile at her, at all the glee club. The background setting of the carnival, and said he was. Because it wasn't at all like he imagined but he was here, with people he loved. And that had to be enough.

"Okay guys who wants candy floss?"

**Principal Figgins has no first name, why is that? **

Principal Figgins leant back in his chair, nothing was getting done today. Children had been in and out the office all day. He had been calling the glee club in one by one, he didn't want to but- Will and Sue care about the whole thing to frightening and obsessive levels and frankly he was not sure how healthy it all was. For anyone.

So the interviews, nothing interesting so far; most were well adjusted with other extra curricular activities, and he could see one or two collage bound, as well as one or two drop outs and pregnant too young. And he wasn't even done. He called in Santana Lopez.

He was a little surprised when the other girl, Brittney something-a-rather in toe, their pinkies linked "girls," he started sternly and both girls sat down, skirts hiked so he had to look away. "I need to see you one at a time," the blond looked worried holding up their hands "we can't we're connected." Miss Lopez unhooked her finger leaving the other girl shocked.

"It should be okay," her voice was smooth and well oiled for a high school student, "you're just going to ask us the same questions anyway, right?" She took the other girls hand reassuringly and the girl looked please and smiled brightly. "yes well- ah I know both of you are outstanding students" on second thought "both of you **are** students. Both cheerleaders and members of Glee, correct?"

The blond nodded enthusiastically, "have there been any unusually happenings as of late." Maybe one of them would say something where the others had not, "they took my new bird, he was blue instead of green but they say I have to see the counsellor again." …. Okay.

"About glee," Santana rolled her eyes, "Oh! Artie can't walk! That's unusual," she smiled brightly, "no, you idiot he's always been that way." The other girl shot back, running her long fingers up the other girl's leg almost subconsciously, "no not always, he didn't have the chair when he was born or that would be really painful for his mum."

She nodded knowingly and reciprocated her friend's hand by brushing some stray hairs behind her friend's ear. "GIRLS!" he yelled sharply, neither hand moved but they both looked at him. "Is there anything unappropriated going on in glee club!"

They both blinked, Miss Lopez squeezed her friends thigh as smiled a Cheshire cat smile, "Of course not, Principal Figgins" the other girl gasped in surprise, "what ever gave you that idea?"

**Being without you made me better**

Ken had only just realised he hadn't done anything about football in a while.

Ken had spent the last month honing everything he had into Karate. He used to be actually really good, back when he was a kid and real skinny and had those glasses, karate had been important then- for survival. Though when he went through that huge growth spurt right before High School he gave up karate for football.

He just wasn't getting anything out of football anymore or anything really. So he was cramming it full of things he used to care about, Karate, old comics, hell he even started talking to his father. He had reconnected when his father handed him that beer when he told him the wedding was off.

He tried new things too, photography was a wash though- frankly too girly, and dancing had turned out too painful. But he liked golf. And now he had something to be other than Coach Tanaka.

Other than Emma's boyfriend, Emma's Fiancé, Emma's ex and then just that one guy I used to know.

He wanted to hate her, to be furious, but he couldn't. He loved her. And he hadn't gone in eyes closed, she had never loved him. So he tried being someone else, and that hadn't worked either. So now he was just trying to be a better version of the same guy.

Ken grabbed Finn up from drills by the collar and dragged him to the centre of the field. This was a new him, the better him, "GATHER LADIES," well he was okay, "I believe play time is over, I WANT YOU DOING SO MANY PUSH UPS YOU CAN LITERALLY TASTE THE DIRT!" well nobody was perfect. He shoved Finn to the ground.

What had be been thinking. He was awesome.

**That's right Sue cheats on the Glee Club**

Dear Journal,

I fear I am becoming complacent in my creativity. With Schuster off destroying his club and personal life in ways I could never have imagined I find myself at a loss. Schuster's hair is even more giant and painful to witness and after making the mandatory quip, I've been just- leaving. I have whipped them into a state of fear so they collapse in on themselves- assistance free.

So I have decided on a new project journal, or rather an old one. I am after all an educator first and foremost but looking back now I can't remember exactly what I'm supposed to be teaching. I'll have to look into that.

But Journal educating is so much more than just yelling at the brats in classrooms until you see piss stains and smell the putrid smell of victory. No it's yelling at the future losers of America outside the classroom, and remind them of their place. And I know what your thinking journal, Sue you do too much. Well yes, clearly, but that's the kind of educator I am. One that cares.

Now there's nothing I like more than the crushing the hopes on the prepubescent losers and remind them of there soon to be bright future; of being full grown and fully formed nobodies. But I need to think, despite what people think I don't just terrorise everyone, I put a special amount of time and effort into the moments I share with people at the school, sure I can drop in on a random session with me laying down my beats on the sly, but it's not really the Sue Sylvester way, I am so much more.

And then in a moment of clarity- or a moment when I was looking through my window, I saw him, powder puff- the whiny, perfectly quaffed Cherrio/Jock/glee club member/fashion enthusiast/square dancer. I had made him cry in the past, but this would be something special- maybe I'll scrap book it, isn't one of his oily, big mouthed friends in AV club. Something else to look into.

Speaking of which Mr Watkins from AV club has been getting pretty comfy this last week after that debacle with the paint. And I've barely even terrorised Garden club in weeks. I better go see if the boys down town have fixed my lawn mower.

**I wanna hold your hand**

It's not that Santana and Brittney spent every moment together, just the moments that counted. They had been friends' way before they were Cheerios, Santana had gone to middle school a district over, moving over just in time for high school, and she had dragged Brittney with her.

Brittney had been sweet, and enthusiastic and well completely stupid. But good enough people that she saw that Santana really did care, or did that make her even more stupid? Santana wasn't sure because people tended to back away when she cared, something about her being intense or whatever.

She had originally been gunning for head cheerleader, but found she had a lot more power when she was willing to use her *assets* in ways the holier than thou Quinn would (well at least that had been her official stance before baby gate.) Brittney took a little convincing, but found she loved attention, which was why she had joined the Cheerios, and everything had been alright.

Then glee had happened and Santana didn't even know what to make of that, but she held Brittney's hand and dragged her along anyway.

And then all of a sudden, Brittney let go for a while. She had new friends, she enjoyed other things, and other people were helping her out when she got confused. And she'd feel jealous for a minuet until Brittney would lock their pinkies together and Brittney would tell her that she loved her best.

Santana was sure that one day; soon even, she'd be able to say it back.

**Beth**

Will didn't know what he was supposed to feel for Quinn. Sometimes he looks at her and he thinks he might sob, she was everything Terri had been when they were still in love, and he could see all that fear and pain clearer than anything. The insecurities and the fake self assured attitude hiding someone genuinely good.

Then she had gotten pregnant. And if it had all gone according to Terri's plan that would have been his child and now looking at Quinn killed him. That baby had almost been his, but she also came close to being Finn's and most defiantly was Puck's not that the boy even had got to touch her before she was gone.

Sometimes he gets really low wishing that he could just take back everything that had happened, and seeing Quinn doesn't make it easier, because Quinn ended up being stronger, happier and healthier than that girl who she used to resemble, that girl he once used to love. He thinks maybe if he had been able to still love Terri, maybe that baby still could have been his.

Quinn had said she thought he would have been a great dad. But he could imagine the family they would have been, a family built on mistrust and lies and he can hear

'Beth I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now…."

Maybeher name wouldn't have been Beth but would that have made a difference.

**Just look at that sweater vest, I sort of want to toss him in the dumpster**

Santana had only ducked into the practice room for a second, just to dodge Coach Sylvester, who was on some kind of soul destroying mission and had ripped into both Kurt and Brittney at practice earlier. She didn't think anyone was in there, and at first she thought she had accidentally walked in on a couple making out, an all male couple. She looked again, it was Kurt which didn't lessen the gay theory but the other was Artie- who was… wow he was standing.

Okay so he had both arms wrapped around Kurt like they were waltzing or something, but his feet were firmly on the ground and he was sans a chair- like completely. "Where did you chair go?" both turned so fast she could almost feel the second-hand whiplash, Kurt almost dropped Artie, but regained his bearings and deposited Artie in the chair, which seemed to have been the plan anyway. Huh, Artie and Kurt were like exactly the same hight- maybe they should try and convince him to borrow clothes from his better dressed peer.

"Some jocks got it," Artie hand waved, his extremely ugly sweater vest looked stained and Kurt's button up looked a little worse for wear. Santana guess Artie had taken a dumpster dive first and they had dropped Kurt in a while later. Kurt must have lifted him out. "How did you guys even get here?" hands on hips, she couldn't imagine Kurt dragging him all the way out here.

Kurt smirked, wiggling his eyebrows in a totally unflattering way- what was she Brittney? "Artie's not the only one with super upper body strength," she didn't buy that for a second, she knew Artie must be built like some kind of tank- or she assumes after that agonising Proud Mary number which she managed to blister her hands through her protective gloves- but Kurt was skinny as hell, and was known to drop people.

"Did you get Finn to carry him?" she asked bluntly, there really was no other way and Finn liked Artie enough to do it, "I was going to, but I ran into Puck," Kurt supplied "he carried him between the last class," Kurt then actually snorted. "Bridal style."

Artie hit him hard, but Santana snorted an undignified laugh as well, since Puck was the most macho guy she knew. She looked around surreptitiously before saying "look if you stay here I'll look for it," she then gave them a warning look, she didn't want anyone to think she was being nice. She knew first hand how it was so not cool to run off with someone's mode of transport like last week when some bitch stole her stilettos from the locker room while she was at practice. She was still making her was through suspects, and had to borrow Brittney's spare shoes she kept for when she lost hers or gave them away- that girl had painfully narrow feet.

They both looked surprised, Artie grinned "thanks," that reminded her, "Actually you might want to keep hiding out, Brittney's looking for you." Ever since the 'what did we gain from glee club' speech she had been hunting Artie down, realising she hadn't kissed him yet. Tina was walking around like she sucked a lemon, so Artie had been trying to avoid the blond entirely.

"You know if she gets you she'll beat Puck," she added, then considered it, "I mean he's kiss every girl in glee club bar Tina and Brittney had just got you." Kurt laughed and Artie slumped into his chair and then proceeded to fall off, slumping too far. Both Santana and Kurt hoisted him up. "Okay I've got a good idea; they usually leave it on top of the bleachers- classic Puck but the other guys are blatant copy cats so it should be there. If I go now no one will see me doing this- if they do you're so on your own."

"Wait!" Artie called and then whisper something to Kurt and the both beckoned her back, when in reaching range they each grabbed a hand pulling her down. She received a kiss on the cheek from each simultaneously. They let go.

"Look likes your number one after all."

…**PLEASE REVIW… (I'm like tinkerbell: need applause to live)**


	4. honor, new friends and dumpster dives

**I can't fight these feelings anymore**

At first; looking at him had kind of made her sick, not like she was disgusted by his presence or anything. God wouldn't that be super hypocritical. It's just looking at him had made her stomach curl in on itself a little bit and she felt like she could sink into the ground. She had seen him before, but now in glee she had met him.

She had faked it at first, that kind of open acceptance she so readily found for her gay dads, for people with different religions and people that didn't agree with her. But this- this was killing her. She wanted her to be a good person, someone he could rely on to see past the chair, to see him. But she just couldn't. Every smile was strained, every move false. She was even criticizing him, just so she had a better excuse for not standing so close to him.

She had cried a bit, refusing to tell her parents why, she felt so ashamed. Like this was some kind of great betrayal because she was sure she couldn't just fix this, she couldn't just try a little harder. This was a feeling, and like her dads had explained when she was six; feelings don't just disappear because it would be better or easier.

When Finn came she had been so relieved her enthusiasm may have seemed a little insulting, she had called Finn the 'perfect' partner when even she could see she clearly drowned him and the boy's dancing skills physically made her cringe. He had been gorgeous and that had made it a little bit easier to push the other male lead into the background with his guitar. But truly she knew it wasn't right, he had a beautiful, strong voice. He's nice too, sort of understanding and sometimes sarcastic and always wore cool sweater vests and understood her style on a level no one ever had. Privately she thinks if he could just get up out of that god damn chair she'd be half in love with him. Hell she thinks most people would, he had that kind of personality.

After a while it became easier, she made an effort to sit next to him it math, he had been bumped up to her class for math because of his 'leet math skillz' as he put it, and they spoke. And God! She really liked him. It was an unlikely friendship on all levels, and it had showed at first; there had been tense moments- she had practically word vomited about him not riding on the bus and he had called her irritating. And that had hurt, because she was trying, and he was trying and they still weren't even close to making it work.

Then finally she came in to Gee practice early and sat down, he asked her about debate and she asked him about AV club, and she saw him. All of him just as Artie Abrams and nothing else. The sinking feeling was never truly going to go away whenever she talked to him, but she could look at him and genuinely be happy. That initial feeling was there but it was pushed so far and down to make space for the flock of small butterflies she felt. Nothing to act on. Just something she's glad she has, and she was glad for him.

**All forms of goals and expectations **

Ellen had known for a long time she wanted to marry a guy like her brother. Oh she wasn't stupid, she could see how that could be a bad idea.

Noah was sort of a loser. She could see that, he'd be pumping gas, or working in an office or if he was lucky in construction. But Ellen didn't have high expectations in life, but really she might be the only girl in the world who actually liked living in Lima so that sort of worked out. She had hated the city when she had visited dad the two times he had remembered she had existed, and she actually didn't like school (shocker) and had no interest in collage.

What she did want was some semblance of happiness- and Noah always made her happy. He made time for her, even when he wanted to go out, he made sure she got to school, that there was food in the house. And now nobody picked on her anymore since he came and scared the crap out of her class.

She knew there were other parts, ugly parts. He had even told her to specifically not to go for guys like him when she was old enough to be interested in guys- which he assured her she wasn't. Even so, she couldn't help but want a guy like him, like she couldn't help that she liked him- even the ugly parts because the parts she loved were not the total sum of the whole, and she truly loved all of him.

So she was probably going to marry some jackass, who cheated on her but made her laugh and came through when she needed him. She was sure that was enough, she didn't have high expectations in life.

Everyone says a girl like her, will probably marry a guy just like her father. She sneaks a sideways glance at her brother, Noah as he puts down the groceries and carries the milk to the fridge. And she thinks 'yeah' if she's lucky.

**I can't help but imagine him a bit of a closet nerd**

It had been a good self esteem day initially, he'd been happy with his outfit, happy with his hair and generally he'd been feeling really good about himself. Or he had until some jocks blindsided him going to Art class.

They left him in the dumpster with a heavy brick or something on the lid, promising more glee fags in return. He considered making an escape attempt but the lid was heavy and he had just done his nails. He felt a little claustrophobic with noway out; privately glad it was him and not Artie who was both a bit claustrophobic and unable to get himself out of situations like this without assistance. He assumed that's was the reason he was number one on his speed dial instead of his girlfriend- nothing said not manly quiet like 'honey can you help me out of the trash' or so he assumed- he wasn't well versed in the protocol of manliness, though he didn't think Artie was either.

He considered calling someone, not Finn that would be too embarrassing and Artie was out for obvious reasons stated. Damn he really wished he had Mike's number, probably the only one out of the three remaining glee jocks who would help him. Anyway they had taken his phone- not on purpose of course, they were Neanderthals after all. No, they knew the drill not to mess up his coat by now, other wise he wouldn't go quietly, and his phone was in the pocket.

The lid opened and he had two seconds to comprehend before a goth girl was dropped on him and the lid slammed shut in darkness. "Tina?" he asked, he had only seen the dark clothing and long hair, "no" a stronger voice than Tina's responded, "but for my self esteem I'll assume that's who they were going for- does this Tina look like me?"

A light flickered on from a phone, the shadowy mood light illuminated a decidedly not- Tina face, too thin, abrasive and well not Asian. "Ah- freshmen?" he asked, the girl nodded and tested the strength of the lid- still jammed tight. He shifting, trying to stain his pants as little as possible- he had been optimistic today and hadn't brought a spare set of pants. Tuesdays was usually dumpster dive day, today was supposed to be a mere slushing- they must be trying to shake things up.

Oh God I hope they didn't do that literally, garbage so did not come out of the hair. "Do you know Artie?" he asked, feeling the slush seep into his pants. Damn.

"Oh- um the sweet guy in the wheelchair," she asked, sitting cross-legged on the trash, "sweet? another goth bites the dust apparently- what is it with him and goths," also thinking of recent interesting behaviours in the club "and Asians."

"Goths and Asians? Aren't you forgetting prime stalker material for instance- the whole band," she added, "it's a little creepy." He just laughed; he hadn't seen much evidence of this but then again he only had class with Artie in Math (he was such a math nerd.) "Does that make the girl with the streaks and dark clothes Tina?"

"yeah," he responded "wow jocks are stupid I look nothing like her!" he couldn't help but agree, Tina had more of a classic pretty than this girl who was clearly in an awkward stage of adolescence. "I have at least six inches and I'm not even usually goth."

"I'm not usually covered in garbage" he added helpfully, but the girl looked at him like it wasn't remotely helpful. The lip open again and he almost missed the swift hand of not-Tina who punched the guy in the face, she swung out leaving a dazed jock and surprised band geek (geez did they even know who was in glee club or did they pick them by who looks like they could be.)

"I'm Kara by the way," she helped him out, "like supergirl" he told her and she rolled her eyes, "I can see why they put you in there."

**A little emotionally promiscuous**

Artie was sort of pissed. He hated being the only guy in the group of friends (he stopped including Kurt since he had insisted Moroccan decor was masculine) and seriously he loved his girls (here he was including Kurt- he was aloud to love Kurt if he wanted too just as long as he never said it out loud.)

Though the problem with girls was they liked shopping. Like as in actually liked it. What was up with that? Artie liked food shopping (he was a terrible impulse food shopper) but that was out of necessity. It was even food shopping either, it was clothes shopping. In which they would bitch, window shop for hours and say backhanded comments on his wardrobe. Hell he had even begged Rachel to come, who although not his closest friend, has totally defended his fashion choices in the past and would probably wheel him to the food court if things got boring.

She had to go out with Finn, but had look appropriately devastated at missing the trip so he didn't hold the grudge. That did mean however he was currently being used as a giant moveable coat rack. And he knew a coat rack when he saw one- he had been hung up on them enough- and he sure as hell wasn't one. Even if his legs were piled high with purchases and everyone's bags and things were hung on the sides of his chair.

"Guys" he started, "look at this Artie," Kurt cut swiftly over the top of him holding a small black T, "this would look great on you." Artie swatted it away because really, no way. "Artie" Mercedes called, stepping out in a form fitting dress, it was- purposefully placed and looked quite stunning.

"I need a man's perspective" she told him spinning awkwardly "I'm a man" Kurt short back, scowling when neither Artie nor Mercedes could hold back a snort of amusement. "It's nice Cedes, real-" he cut himself off, looking quickly at Tina. "Its okay sweetie, you can tell her she's hot- it's like window shopping only I've taken all your credit cards."

Artie's cheeks flamed "nice. I was going to say nice" Mercedes was blushing to and smiled widely, "thanks wheels," and shut the door to change again.

Later when walking (or wheeling in some cases- Tina had hitched a free ride on his chair with the new foldable stand at the back) Artie stopped and bought some flowers. He gave her a rose with a large embarrassed grin on his face, Tina took it excitedly and kissed him quick- she wasn't big on PDA. The two others crooned and complained about not getting flowers, so Artie begrudgingly handed over the two slightly less nice carnations he had planned to give to his elderly neighbour (Mrs Jenson who had recently helped him down a flight of steps- which had really been more of a give and take situation really) tucking the last one carefully away reassigning it to the nice older women.

Kurt put it in his pocket proudly and Mercedes put hers behind ear and Artie had an epiphany. "I have three girlfriends," he stated, each person looking surprised. "w-what" Tina looked a little distressed, "not actually" he raised his hands then gestured and the group, "I just meant you guys."

"how so," asked Mercedes "flowers," he gestured, "that doesn't mean-" Kurt started, "the group dates, the compliments, the insistence to change my wardrobe, my need to look out for you guys- hell I think I've pulled chairs out for all of you at one time or another."

Tina laughed and the other two looked a little embarrassed "he's right; you guys are totally high jacking my boyfriend." Mercedes grinned "okay yeah, maybe a little," Kurt nodded "though not in a fun way, this is more like emotionally boyfriend stealing."

"That's right!" Artie cried "no one's even putting out," he shook his head with laughter, Kurt placed one hand on each side of his hand rest, arching his eyebrows, then using his best flirty voice he said "well" he smirked, hooking arms with both girls "we can change that."

Artie hoped no one not Rachel, Puck, Mike or anyone from band was expecting flowers tomorrow, because Artie didn't think he could handle the stress of being this kind of stud.

**Don't assume women know shit about other women (mid-season one)**

Tina and Quinn were currently in some friendship limbo. A frimbo if you will. And Quinn wasn't sure how she was supposed to go about this; Quinn found herself wanting to be friends with someone who didn't want to be friends back. Thus the frimbo.

Quinn just 'didn't' make friends with people. Sure when she was popular people sort of came to her, deserving or not, and her closest friends were the ones with the most to offer. Now she didn't really have friends- people sort of hated her and she couldn't blame them.

She didn't know if the general populus had noticed but she was kind of a bitch.

Still, Brittney and Santana had given her the snub in favour of each other and Mercedes was sort of scary, so Tina was sort of her only option (she didn't care what Finn said Rachel Berry was never an option.)

She thought about this strategically, how did she usually get people do be with her? Well she knew how to get a guy to hang with her, but she didn't think parading in short skirts and sending herself chocolates would be appropriate- well… no. NO that would be inappropriate.

She settled for the method she had used to get Finn (not the one Puck had used on her because getting Tina drunk and insulting her would probably equal a punch in the face by well- someone okay.) So Quin tried being coy- sitting close in class, smiling at her in Glee- which was getting her nowhere and was frankly just giving Puck ideas. If Puck ever had ideas.

Though she thought maybe she would get somewhere when she accidentally walked into the practice room to find Tina crying. Crying she could do, she was good at sympathetic if the situation called for it. "Hey," she said sitting down next to her, the other girl sat up with a start, mascara and eyeliner running down her face "Q-Quinn" she responded in reply.

"What's wrong sweetie" she patted her leg and then detracted it because she really wasn't going for a britana sort of thing. "n-nothing," she stared at her hands. It didn't take too much coaching- but a lot more than she was looking for to get "I-I I did something stupid and Artie's never going to speak to me again.

Quinn patted Tina's head sympathetically- and not at all patronisingly, "did you get pregnant with someone else's baby" she asked, "what! No!" She whipped her head quickly, and Quinn realised now was so not the time to be projecting secrets. "Oh good me too."

"Well then I'm sure he'll forgive you" she said after the inevitable silence "he watches you with sort of a creepy intensity, just tell me what you did and we'll work it out, I'm good with guy stuff."

"I told him I faked my- huh-stutter and-sniff- now he h-h-hates me," she sobbed. Now reasonably Quinn knew she should have said, "Oh honey that's totally fixable all we need is a low cut shirt and some star wars memorabilia" and not the insane, totally accidental and second nature bitch slip of-

"Jesus! Isn't that a little like blackface to the disabled!"

And as she watch her defiantly-not-a-new-friend Tina run off crying to find Mercedes she thought, maybe now would be a good time for a stratigical retreat. In any case she hoped Mercedes remembered the baby before she kicked the crap out of her.

Maybe Rachel Berry wouldn't be a bad choice (she's just kidding she wouldn't go near that with a ten foot pole.)

**Giving one for the team **

Puck sort of takes it upon himself when Rachel gets hurt by that Jesse dick. He may find her incredibly annoying and all but she was apart of Glee club, and sort of hot, and had promised to be his pretend girlfriend if his mum asked- so he figures he kind of has to.

The beating is kind of pathetically easy, and that actually makes it worse, because Rachel was all women (as far as he had felt) and didn't deserve this kind of shit from these kinds of shit.

He ended up dragging her into the gym after practice, and she was bitching but he was trying to tune it out, because he was trying to do something nice and last time he checked yelling at someone to can it wasn't very nice. She was saying something about her reputation and integrity and Puck just had to cut her off, to protect his honour. "Hey! No ones reputation has been destroyed by me," she looked very pointedly at him, and he conceded because yeah okay.

"So then what are we doing here?" he set down the mats before looking up, "this is hard training Berry" he put out his arms in a defensive stance, "this whole Jesse thing is **never** happening again." He put his weight into his stance, "so come on attack me."

Rachel stood stunned for a second, before, "with pleasure."

In retrospect maybe he should of let her cool down about the whole egg thing before he invited her to hit him.

**Remember that thing Puck said in chapter one**

Puck had a code. Not a knights code or some bullshit, limiting code like that- but still Puck had standards which he followed. Or at least he used too, until all this Glee shit happened. And he found himself caring, caring for Gods sake- and that just didn't sit right with the Puckasorus.

At first he thought maybe it was just some sort of fluke. A fleeting feeling of regret as he shoved that gay kid in a locker, or a flinch before he dowsed stutterfly with a smoothie (instead of a slushy because last time she had gotten a cold- and shit he was doing it again.) just a slight feeling he could push back while he filled Arethra's locker with pudding or taped wheels' hands to his seat rests. Then suddenly it wasn't just a feeling.

It sort of came too a head one day when he walked into the showers. Several jocks crowded around wheelchair guy in a way that probably wouldn't have had sat right with him anyway. Puck was all for regular torture of the guy- hell it was a bit of a sport; Patriotic wedges, trips to the dumpster, slushy facials were standard. But like he said 'sport' so they're was also 'hide the wheelchair', duct tapping his wheels, duct taping his hands to the rests, duct taping him to a flag pole- huh looking back on it, it must have cost them a fortune in duct tape, well okay not him personally (probably Finn because before he lost his balls to the glee club wheels had sort of been a pet project of his.)

Anyway the stripping the kid in the middle of winter part was unusual for a normal game of 'hide the wheelchair.' They weren't holding any punches either; in a literal sense too as his face was a mess. That sort of shit didn't happen when Puck or Finn was around because dude, he was already in a wheelchair.

It got a bit hazy after that but then things got awkward. "Puck?" the kid asked wheeling over a beat up hockey player's fingers to get to him, "no." he told him "no we're not talking about this." He cut him off, "but-"

"up-bup-bup no we're not talking about this- we never are going to talk about this unless I want something, now get lost wheels," the boy's face frowned in understanding- or misunderstanding as it actually happened to be. Ah well- at least his rep was still good.

"My name's Artie," he rolled out, a chill following after him. Puck waited until he was sure he was gone before responding, "yeah… I know."

**Authors note: **this is a mix of serious and funny, so have fun I guess. Just a little clarifiafication on some drabbles in this chapter: I view Artie/Rachel friendship as cannon- just ask Tvtropes but I added some probably unneeded weirdness for the simple fact when I look at those two characters on paper they should probably be married.

As always if you have a request don't hesitate and June I hope the outside interaction was what you were looking for with 'I can't help but imagine him a bit of a closet nerd.**'**

**As always please review.**


	5. helmets, halloween and hospitals

**You know I think Kurt has some anger issues he needs to work on…**

The origin of the ping pong helmet (unlike the origin of wolverine which you know sucked) was a story of one man's quest to- to- well to not get hit in the face with ping pongs and rouge paddles.

It had started, where most of his stranger stories unfortunately started, at Kurt's place. Mercedes and Tina had been painting his nails and Artie had been trying to give Kurt a crash course in sport. "look you don't have to like football if it's too hard," Artie had told him frustrated, he knew all the rules of football and all the plays- it was one of the reason Puck bothered him on a weekly basis- to watch the game.

"Your dad will like it if you take an interest. How about soccer?" Kurt pulled a face that suggested soccer might we worse than football, "tennis- it's a fairly easy game to follow" Tina suggested before returning to Mercedes black and pink nails. "I get seasick watching tennis all that backwards and forwards."

"Rugby? My brother used to play that, the shorts are tight and they wail on each other a lot," Mercedes tried, Artie nodded hopefully but Kurt shook his head, "I used to play it in primary school- I don't want to ever see a rugby ball again." Artie threw his hands up; Kurt never met him halfway on anything that could be remotely seen as a manly venture. "So what can you play? We'll go from there."

"Netball" he replied and Artie groaned, "unless you're willing to watch women's netball you're going to have to try again," there was a long pause "wait!" Kurt stood up excitedly, "I've got an idea, something even you can play," before running downstairs, "do you think he means basketball?" Artie asked hopefully but was met with a resounding 'yeah right.'

He came back up with two paddles and a folded table, "here," he said excitedly, setting up the table to the rest of the groups confusion "dad got to be really good when he injured his knee!" then it dawn on Artie "No! no, no, no, no, no." he responded, but Kurt had given him the puppy dog eyes- the ones Artie hated, that worked on him.

After it was all set up they played a set… and then another… and then another. Eventually Artie won, but he suspected that was mostly due to Tina's complete inability to be an impartial judge.

Kurt put a stake gingerly on his face, very apologetic after the fact; in which Artie had been hit in the face several time by ping pong balls due to hight. Also probably more pressingly that Kurt had thrown his paddle across the table in anger and since only Artie's head and shoulders made it over the table- hit Artie square in the face- or precisely his left eye.

"Well it's not as embarrassing as the one you got square dancing when you were seven," Mercedes consoled poorly- he really needed to stop telling these people things. "I'm so sorry- I was just ah- I had fun and I tend to get competitive..."

Kurt had looked so embarrassed and happy that all Artie could say was, "I guess I should invest in a helmet then."

**Meet my family- sort of**

Santana stood over Matt like some sort of terrifying eagle, and Matt couldn't help but oblige and be terrified when she had put in that kind of effort to being imposing. "Hi Satan- I mean Santana" he mumbled and Santana sharpened her eyes looking at him. "Matt," she said silkily sitting close to him, "you haven't called, you don't write I'm beginning to think you don't care." She smirked at him uncomfortableness.

"Well I've just been busy," he searched for Mike, sweet, nice attention stealing Mike who would surely distract Santana. The traitor was hanging with Tina and Artie which he had been doing a lot lately, Matt wasn't entirely sure what that was all about. This was normal; Matt was rarely sure about most of what Mike did, it was just better to go with it and try not to look too surprised at the end. Like the dancing thing.

"So then come over," Santana glided a hand up his leg and he caught it. "I can't, and if you hadn't noticed I haven't been coming over with anyone- not for a while." She actually looked a little hurt and Matt almost felt sorry for her. And then remembered it was Santana, the same Santana who liked to berate him and had in the past used him and discarded him like Kleenex. He sometimes thinks Santana would have made a better football player, she had the same mentality as most of the guys on the team.

"I have a girlfriend, Sherri, it's kind of serious," he told her, and she smiled- okay smirked at him. "Oh well I just have to meet her," from that tone he was pretty sure Santana thought Sherri didn't really exist. Finn who had been sitting behind him perked up. "Yeah man! You totally have to bring her around, I want to meet her!" Rachel who had been sitting next to him nodded excitedly with him.

"Yes Mathew if your serious about this girl then we should defiantly meet her, see if she measures up." And the decision had been sort of taken from him.

He approached the idea to Sherri the next day, who had genuinely seemed excited about meeting his friends who weren't Mike, which was odd because she played soccer and knew most of the football team- so it's not like she hadn't met some of them. He could understand the Mike thing though; Mike was a bit much for most people at first.

When it was time, he had taken her too the practice room, his hands were sweating and he was pale, Sherri joked this must be what it was like to meet his family.

Yeah right, that would have been a piece of cake in comparison.

**In which the punch line becomes a literal punch line for Kurt**

Halloween was sort of ignored by kids at McKinley High, yeah everyone got shit faced at the parties (but any excuse would do) and the girls wore slutty clothes under the guise of cute fluffy little animals which would defiantly not be called cute if seen in those types of clothes. Other than that the general lack of enthusiasm generally showed.

So the four friends had decided to go in costumes as a statement, and when they said statement they meant very low key costumes. Hopefully hardly noticeable as to avoid angry football players, who had surprise, surprise, decided to dress as angry footballers for Halloween.

Tina had suggested zombies (but that was her suggestion for everything) and Mercedes thought maybe the animal motif might be safer. Then Kurt suggested maybe just a trade of regular clothes- they could go as each other. Artie had agreed as long as he didn't have to go as Tina. After much protesting it was decided okay, no Artie wouldn't go as Tina.

Rachel had showed up to glee dressed as Christine from phantom of the opera- excessive luxurious red dress and all because damned if she ever did anything halfway. Finn had made the monumental effort of an eye patch and had called himself a pirate. Puck hadn't dress up, but insisted he had gone as a badass. The cheerleader girls were wearing some form of nightdresses with cat ears and Mike had made Matt and himself newspaper pirate hats and told her they were apart of Finn's crew. Quinn seemed to be out sick from what Finn could tell and Rachel was momentarily worried, until Kurt and Mercedes walked in.

She wanted to laugh, and she took it to her credit that she hadn't, because Mercedes was dressed as a goth. Netting, lace, blue streaks and all. And Kurt was wearing a sweater vest she remembered Artie had worn and Kurt had stolen in what he had called a crime against fashion. He was also wearing Artie's thick black glasses at the tip of his nose, obviously so he didn't actually have to look through them.

Still she hadn't made the connection of who they were supposed to be until Artie and Tina came in shortly after. Tina's clothes were bright and out of character, she had painstakingly curled her hair and pulled in back the way Mercedes used to wear it and she wore heavy bangles and street shoes and looked the picture of uncomfortable. That was until she looked at Artie who was wearing name brands from head to toe, some designer scarf, a fedora and someone had obviously taken time and styled his hair, in contrast to his usual hair.

They had gone as each other. It was sort of cleaver and Rachel was sort of jealous she hadn't been included, but I guess this meant "hey Kurt does this mean you'll get to see what you and Mercedes would have looked like if you had dated."

They had laughed until Puck's eyes had snapped up taking Kurt in. "Hummel you sick freak, I knew you kept that as a souvenir!"

**Wow way to be depressing author type guy**

Tina was more than half an hour late to Glee practice, Rachel had assured Mr Schuster it was probably due to Artie having to leave early for physio- they were kind of attached at the hip- the arms?- the well whatever.

Though when Tina had rushed in, red rimmed eyes and shaking uncontrollably, he made the decision that practice would need to be cancelled. "What is it honey" Kurt asked rushing over, Mercedes and Rachel in toe. She wouldn't speak, just making wild hand movements. "Just breathe," Quinn advised, pushing Rachel over so she could rub circles on his back.

"K-K-K-Kurt" she gasped, "I-I-I ne-ee-ed y-you to t-t-take me to the hos hospital," she cried. There was dead silence and the tension was so thick Tina was sure it was what must be holding her up. "What?" Kurt croaked; wanting to believe that was a mistake, "A-A-Artie" she gasped and that's all she could get out before Mercedes had gripped her hand so hard she yelped in pain and Kurt had gone chalk pale and bolted to the door, dragging the two with him.

The rest stood, sat, kneeled, fell-whatever in dead silence for well, for a long, long while. They could imagine they could hear the frantic sound of Kurt's engine roaring to life and speed off in a way sure to leave scorch marks on the tar. Even though they were nowhere near the car park, and Kurt was probably almost to the hospital by now.

Mike was shaking quite badly, and Quinn reached out to prop him up. "s-so what's happened? He croaked, "I don't know" Rachel's voice was small, "but I'll find out," she shrugged off Finn's arm and pulled out her phone, racing to the door. A Probably unnecessary action considering you could hear a pin drop in that room.

Mr Shuster was in an odd position of not know what to say, with Artie it could be anything – although from Tina's reaction it wasn't anything good. "Okay guys, let's not jump to any conclusions I'm sure he's fine," the words sounded hollow and he's pretty sure no on believed him.

"He's okay!" Rachel burst in, "he was in a car crash!"

"How does that make him okay?" Puck demanded and Mike nodded violently at the statement. "He just has a concussion and a broken arm- Tina got cut off before she heard." There was a collective sigh of relief. So he was okay. Right?

There was still a feeling of relief until, "damn that guy has the worse luck with cars, right?" and suddenly everyone felt like crap again.

**Helping hands (not the kind from the labyrinth)**

Everyone knew having a broken arm is depressing; people use their hands for everything, which was something people only noticed when they thought about how things would be different if they didn't have use of one.

That being said it was always going to be ten times worse for Artie. His brothers had been kind enough to push his friends out of the hospital room before they saw him crying. Which was stupid, he didn't even know what he was crying over maybe the temporary loss of an arm or the trauma of reliving the worst day of his life. He's sure it would be considered acceptable to have cried over either of them really, but he didn't want them to see him like that. Anything to make sure they didn't look at him how his mother was looking at him, how his mother had been looking at him since he was eight.

He couldn't really do anything now, and Artie hated when he couldn't do things so this was some exquisite form of torture. It had been his right arm that had been broken in two places, so he was having difficulty writing, he couldn't use the guitar or even clap to the music and oh yeah- he couldn't even bloody move himself anymore other than to go around in circles!

He had done that a lot for the first three hours out of hospital, before relinquishing his mobility to his friends (which had always been a sign of trust before and was now a sign of complete dependence.) Kurt had picked him up for school, Tina had taken him around at lunch and Mercedes had hung out with him when he should have been in jazz band practice.

Rachel and Quinn were begrudged working together in some sort of concerned double act and were always around. Mike had dragged Matt over so they could have lunch together and he had been seeing Puck out of the corner of his eye like all day- which was creeping him out. Finn had even sat out on P.E to talk to him- not that he did P.E normally, so they hung out off campus which was actually kind of nice. It was all very sweet and he'll admit it necessary- but also very, very annoying.

He loved his glee friends and was fine with them wheeling him around sometimes, even if he did look a little like a sad disabled panda. Only trouble was he was the only freshman in glee. Actually almost all of them were sixteen, Artie included, it's just miss enough school because you were in the hospital and the school will hold you back. And they had so he was sort of alone in that respect.

So his band friends picked up the slack. Hank- the former glee club member and current keyboardist for jazz band was a freshman and shared most of his classes. So the plan was to let him help, which was all really lucky all things considering, Hank was a good guy, and he was sort of awkward and wouldn't push him to talk if he didn't want too- in short nothing like his other friends.

What he hadn't expected, was well- the rest of the band. Everywhere. Even more than the glee club (if that was possible) helping him with stuff, pushing him places, clearing a path for him and his new entourage. Playing him jazz numbers at lunch, which had been admittedly hilarious as the cafeteria ladies looked like they were going to explode.

So Artie did what he always did, he looked for a positive spin. This wasn't hard because it seemed there was a positive person trying to cheer him up everywhere he turned. And yes he had lost an arm for a little while, but as it turned out he had gained about twenty more helping hands in its place.

**In which dating is no longer a team sport**

Finn knew as soon as he'd asked Rachel on a date she was going to put too much pressure on it. "So I ah- think we should go on a double date," he rushed. She looked hurt, and then thoughtful and then more thoughtful. "Okay" she said brightly. "I'll ask Artie if he and Tina want to come."

Truthfully Finn had planned to ask Matt and Sherri, since Artie had let his girlfriend put make up on Finn while he was sleeping last time they had stayed over at Kurt's. But it was probably better if it was Artie and Tina, Rachel was sort of friends with Tina and defiantly friends with Artie and she wasn't with Matt and didn't even know Sherri.

Finn made a mental note to introduce the two properly so this situation would never occur again. 'This situation' was Finn, Artie and Kurt squished on one side of the diner's both opposite to Rachel, Tina and Mercedes.

Rachel was happily talking to Tina and Mercedes and Artie was trying to explain a football play to Kurt and Finn was just confused. Not about the football plays obviously (though he was a little impressed Artie knew his football- he sort of assumed he wouldn't because of his nerdy nature) but about how they got here.

"I thought we were going on a date," Finn told Rachel, "we are," Rachel cocked her head in confusion, pulling out her planner which had a detailed plan including what diner they would eat at and what movie they would see. "Artie helped me plan it," Tina rolled her eyes, "he does that for our dates too," she smiled at Artie in a smitten way and Artie smiled back. "Oh! Is that not right?" Rachel asked concerned.

"No, no that's fine, I just mean- what are Kurt and Mercedes doing here?" Rachel brightened up, "Mercedes said that she and Kurt attend Tina and Artie's dates sometimes and you said you wanted this to be a no pressure date." That's it. He was never speaking again.

"Sorry man I tried to talk her out of it," Artie sympathised "I didn't" Kurt mused, smirking while he leant over fixing Artie's tie. Artie glared "that's one." Mercedes hit Kurt sharply, "shut up Kurt."

"What?" Finn asked confused, "Artie imposed a three strike rule on them, if they collectively get three strikes, and they get kicked out of the date." Artie grinned "it's the only way to get alone time with my girl," then leaned closer to Finn and muttered to him "I don't think it'll take very long."

Oh well- good, right? What's the worse they could do?

**the song came on my ipod like fate **

"Okay," Mr Schuster clapped his hands together, "do you all have your assignments," there was a general groan of consensus that he took as a yes. "Oh good, I'll be in this room and Brad will be in the practice room up the hall if you need any help.

They had been assigned partners; Rachel pulls Mercedes out to the other practice room at break neck speed Chattering on about something about ballad and dance steps. Quinn privately mourned the loss of her friend, before turning to Kurt. "Alright what do you suggest for the theme it was uh- right; a song that takes you places," the boy shrugged "I don't know, just as long as it is not by journey I think we should be fine."

Quinn giggles, everyone was a little over journey now, Kurt sat down at the piano and Tina walked up looking mildly concerned "Artie was paired up with Brittney" she said in a tone of bereavement. "You know he said a similar thing about you and Mike in that same tone," Mike who was standing behind her look surprised "Oh! I don't want him to be upset with me like last time, I'll go find him," and raced out the door. "Wait Mike!" Tina cried running after him.

"When did Artie speak to you?" Quinn asked curiously, "oh he didn't but it was a sure fire way to clear the room of stragglers" Kurt grinned and surveyed the now empty room save Mr Schuster who was walking over to them. "You're a little evil" she grinned "why thank you honey." Mr Schuster clapped his hands together, making them break eye contact "So guy's got any ideas?" he asked enthusiastically, "yeah" Quinn answered opening a lyric book, "take a look" she pushed it over, "oh!" Kurt laughed in surprise "I was just thinking this!"

Later

"And I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles To fall down at your door-"

"Guys" Mr Schuster groaned "that is so no I mean about a song that takes you places."

**Author's note: **I was a little down when I wrote those middle stories, but I also origin of the ping pong helmet! In addition I hit my head halfway through a drabble when I thought of something and gave myself a bit of a concussion- so if the writing reflects that….. also well….

Anyway please review- that means you people who alert but don't review.


	6. field trips, cooking and driving lessons

**I totally wrote this before 'dating is not a team sport' then forgot about it**

If Mercedes had to pick a best friend, she's sure it would be who everyone thinks it would. Actually she's pretty sure it wouldn't.

She is apart of a group of tightly knit friends. The four of them did everything together, sleepovers, bitching on the phone, outings, hell- she and Kurt had gatecrashed more than a couple of Artie and Tina's dates. She loved all of them, and that's where she gets confused.

She and Artie have never associated outside of the group other than a few occasions (like the very memorable not-a-date date to see this jazz trope or Artie's valiant effort to get her star in his film for AV club) and mostly that had worked out fine. Because he would spend his time with Tina when Mercedes was hanging with Kurt. And then later he filled the spot of the much needed 'understanding male best friend' for Kurt (to which she hadn't expected them to get as tight as they had) and they would hang when Mercedes and Tina had girl time. Though she knew Artie had proven on occasion that he could understand her in ways her other friends often failed to comprehend- she knew they weren't exactly what one would traditionally deem 'close.'

The more she thinks, the more the whole thing gets a little messy because sometimes it's so clear that it is Kurt, its so Kurt. They laugh, they bitch and they each copious amounts of chocolate and try to sway the polls of American idol. She knew this was what friendship was supposed to be, they were honest and loved each other and then hated each other. And then sat on benches in malls to critique the fashionably challenged people like they like they were judges on project runway and pretend they don't live in Lima, Ohio.

But then all of a sudden it's Tina and that makes sense too- they spend time in her empty house, and Tina would talk about Artie and Mercedes would talk about Kurt (because sometimes that still smarted like hell) and sometimes they cried or laughed or sat in complete silence. And that was important, because she could be real with Tina, not too much like she was with Kurt or too little like she was with Artie. She would sit in that empty house and know there were no judgements because Tina wasn't that kind of that person- and that was great and just what she needed sometimes.

She wanted to make it simple. This should be so easy, but she loved three people, and on there own she probably fall out with each of them, because Tina and Kurt would have been entirely too much, Tina and Artie would have made her depressed and Kurt and Artie would have made her want to scream. So it was just lucky really they were the sort of group they were- because together they were the best friend she'd ever had.

**Under achievers unite**

The Arts camp happened every year; it was one of the only things Figgins really shelled out money for when concerning the arts. It was a place far out, with an old prison like building, attached to the back was a small farm (if it could be called that) and next to it was a graveyard for some reason. So that is to say it was incredibly cheap to rent out to a bulk amount of students. That included the fine arts students, the senior drama students, the band, two photography classes and now in addition the Glee club.

The groups rarely interacted, but were based on a flexible schedule for the students with more than one extracurricular. And when they said flexible they meant not at all. Like at all.

"Where has half the group gone?" Will looked up, the few glee club members that had shown up to the rehearsal in the stuffy add on chapel in the building were all partnerless. "Kurt said he'd be here in a little while," Brittney told him helpfully "Mercedes and he are sketching gravestones for art class, he said I should practice with Artie until he gets there because Rachel's doing practice exercises for drama."

"Artie's not here though Brit," Mike added, "he's got band and he needs to finish this photography assignment, its worth like 20% of his grade he's freaking out- I'm not sure he'll even make it today."

"What!" Mr. Schuster exclaimed, their main number to rehearse had been a duet for Mercedes and Artie, and the other number relied heavily of Rachel and Kurt. "I guess we have to put 'Make you mine' on backburner, but I've heard Artie and Mercedes nail 'come what may' like fifteen times- I think we just need to work choreography" Tina added. She and Kurt had heard 'come what may' practically on repeat since a love song to be sang to each other had initially proved difficult to pull off for both Artie and Mercedes.

"We'll still need a new number, the talent show is two days after we get back, and while choreography for that song should be easy enough to pull off last minuet," Quinn told Mr Schuster thinking of the inevitable overuse of swaying, "Make you mine, was supposed be a dance intensive number, that's why we were singing it- I think we should use who we have and make a new number." Mr Schuster nodded surveying the student he did have, "okay then, as long as Rachel doesn't kill me in my sleep I have an alternative number..."

When Rachel showed up and hour and a half late she couldn't say she was pleased to see her song had been taken, but frankly seeing Puck and Finn try and dance to footloose had almost made it worth it. Almost.

**I can't believe I did carnival before zoo that was clearly a rookie mistake (just before sectionals)**

The sophomore retreat was sort of a big deal. It happened every year and was supposed to be a big bonding experience for students. They split groups up to different places with chaperones and just let them go for it. Mr. Schuster had announced in glee that he had managed to get them all in the same group that he was chaperoning- which happened to be to the zoo. Mr Schuster then smiled apologetically to Artie, Mike and Matt the non-sophomores of the group (Mike seemed enthusiastic that this would be a good opportunity for them to bond, though Artie and Matt just looked worried.)

After the long bus ride, they ended up stuck in the learning workshop room for two hours as a zookeeper explained the dos and don'ts of the zoo. Then preceded in depth to talk about the new seals that were in- which Rachel seemed excited about.

They had first stopped at the lions, though complaints was already abounding "they kept our group back because of you," Mercedes whined at Puck, Kurt linked his arm with hers and nodded fiercely. "What? How is that my fault?" he asked, damaging the wildlife off the track as he spoke. "Duh the Mohawk- it screams I'm a troublemaker please lecture me."

"Funny because it usually screams I'm a badass please drop your panties" he leered at Brittney and Santana, Mr Schuster glared at him. "You know I think it might actually due to the amount of property damage you and Finn caused within the first five minuets of being on the premise." Both boys looked away sourly; it had been another 'you knocked up my ex' fight the kind that occurred when they were in close proximity of each other.

"Oh! Look lions" Brittney pointed excitedly "Mr Schuster we should defiantly do eye of the tiger next for glee!" Finn looked at her in confusion "no wait, I thought we were looking at lions?" Brittney grinned "that's sort of the same thing right? Only Tigers eat more zebras so they have stipes?" Finn nodded- yeah that made sense. "We" Rachel interrupted motioning at all of them "will never do eye of the tiger if I have anything to say about it," she heard a mumble of 'you always so' but choose to ignore it and crossed her arms in defiance, Mr Schuster nodded with her, "yeah Brittney, probably not."

"Oh! Oh! Mr Schuster can we go see the otters next" Kurt asked watching Finn and Puck press their faces up against the glass at the uninterested lions, and Brittney bang hard on the glass much to Santana's distress. "Why Kurt?" Mercedes cut in, "oh their only one of the most theatrical animals at the zoo, right up there with the musical meerkats and the show-off birds in the bird habitat."

"What about the butterfly exhibit?" Quinn added, using uncharacteristic jazz hands to emphasise her point "Yes! Forget the otter's girls, we're going there!" Kurt grabbed both girls' hands in excitement and charging off to find the butterfly exhibit. "Wait guys!" Mr Schuster called torn between running after them and staying put. Observing the occupied 16 year olds he puts Rachel in charge and runs off.

"Where do you want to go next?" Rachel asked Tina, who shrugged she had been acting a bit mopey lately. "Oh you'd like Nocturnal alley right," Santana suggested, pulling a distracted Brittney with her. "That should get your mind of wheelchair right? That's why your a sad sack today, right?" she raised her eyebrows at her probing for gossip, "no- it's just Artie hates the fact that he had to repeat a grade and this is sort of a neon sign of reminders." Santana rolled her eyes, "it's fine right? I mean he has Matt and Mike, he would have wanted you to have a good time," she wrapped an arm around her and steered Tina away from the lions, "he's not dead Santana" Tina snapped. Santana glared.

"Right! Come on then to the nocturnal alley with you- your having fun wether you want it or not!" and pushed her out of the lion's den, "WAIT" Rachel called racing after them with Brittney in toe "WE'RE SUPPOSED TO STAY TOGETHER!"

Oh Mr Schuster would never leave her in charge ever again!

**Not at the zoo- but the still have a good view at the animals**

It shouldn't be so different without them. Matt muses, it's not like he really hangs out with any of the Glee kids except Mike, Finn and Puck, except maybe he does. With them all gone he's sort of thrown into a loop. Mike is in his classes like normal, but he has no one to smile awkwardly in the hall with or protect from slushy attacks, and well that sort of sucks.

Mike isn't around too much either, it turns out Tina had pulled him aside and asked him to watch over Artie while she was out. Now it's not like Matt was tight with Artie or anything, or you know ever spoke to him, but even he could tell what kind of special hell would be to pay for the Asians duo if Artie ever caught wind of '_that_' conversation. Anyway Mike was taking his temporary girlfriend status pretty seriously and was pushing him around places (kind of like when the kid had broken his arm) and being really enthusiastic about everything.

And then right before lunch Matt witnessed a situation that made him think maybe it had been a fair call on Tina's part to ask Mike to baby-sit. He didn't know if the other guys bullied Artie that bad normally or if it was due to lack of gleek targets but, they were just really laying into him. It was never this bad not even back before glee, when Artie was still a popular target for jocks (or was he still and Matt just hadn't noticed).

Matt wasn't sure how it worked and hell he wasn't sure if they ever talked about it, but it sort of used to be Finn's hobby. To mess with Artie that is.

Mike seemed to take the whole thing personal and it looked like for a second Matt was going to have to jump in when Artie- of all people sort of defused the situation. Matt didn't know how he did it- and he was fucking there- but he was impressed. He even calmed down Mike, which was like impossible to do in the span of an hour let alone five minuets. Huh maybe he should be taking notes.

Lunch had been a little awkward, Artie seemed to miss his friends and Mike seemed to be trying to compensate by having talking as much as three people. It was decidedly less awkward after they choose safe topics like football, glee and school (Mike was ecstatic that he could help Artie with homework, because while there was no question which of the two was more book-smart, Mike was still two grades ahead.)

Matt actually got involved when it switched to stuff Artie did with his friends, turned out he and Kurt were big ping pong enthusiasts. Matt revealed how he was a huge tennis fan and had a soft spot for ping pong and all racket related sports. Mike was wearing a smug smile, like he had somehow been responsible for them having something in common. And in the end they talked right through lunch and Matt let Mike inhale his pudding because he ran out of time. So he was basically bouncing off the walls for the last few periods.

By the end of the day Matt couldn't say he was any better friends with Artie, but now he could at least understand why Mike and Artie were.

**Where it's not supposed to be romantic but Quinn became a little intense**

Quinn wasn't sure why she had initially disliked Rachel that much. Sure she knew later, when it was all 'bitch was out to steal her man' but before there had just been this giant vacuum of like around her.

Maybe it was because Rachel had been so very indifferent to her, before glee and before Rachel even knew who Finn was Rachel had known Quinn. Or more precisely Quinn had known Rachel, as Quinn spent a good amount of the day writing, saying, pointing out nasty things about her. Rachel however couldn't even remember basic facts about her like her last name or who she was dating.

So maybe that had irked her. Maybe that's the reason she had always been so much harder on her, remained so much harder, because Rachel barely factored Quinn into her plans and schemes unless she had too. Rachel had never thought of Quinn as anything other than an obstacle and after she was no longer an obstacle Rachel barely thought about her at all. The more Quinn was around, the more she saw all the failure to launch friendships and Rachel's intense focus and all her time and energy being wasted on Finn.

So it seemed it wasn't that Rachel Berry was misunderstood, or even incredibly grating that made her have no friends it was that she had no time for them. That she was indifferent to them when they were not needed. And that was difficult to deal with.

So when Quinn had been brooding around the empty football field after school and she saw a strange sight, she wasn't sure what to do. After all it was Rachel Berry who was lying on her back, spread eagle, eyes closed with ear phones in her ears. Out to the world. There was a time Quinn would have wrecked this moment of utter contentment for Rachel, after all Quinn hated to ignored. In fact she still did.

Quinn gently nudged Rachel with her foot and sat down next to her. Rachel shot up, but Quinn merely took an earphone phone from her ear and pushed her back down. Then she lay down upside down from her so their heads were almost touching. Listening.

As the melodic tones of 'all by myself' filtered through, Quinn thought huh. Well not anymore.

**Pimp my ride (It seems I can't resist a good Kurt + Artie moment)**

When Artie had turned sixteen he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He got the

Okay from his father- which was sort of a given seeing what he had given him for said birthday. All that was left was to build up the courage to do it, but he just couldn't seem to spit it out.

He had approached Kurt dozens of times and had a failed miserably at the last possible second, and he was pretty sure Kurt was starting to get suspicious. He was starting to feel a bit stupid and to be honest he was sure he was starting to be perceived as girl-with-a-crush- what with all the covert looks, pathetic attempts to start conversations and scrunched up beginnings of notes.

Eventually Kurt confronted him, "look Artie," Kurt did that thing only he, Rachel and Tina ever did where he rested his hands on Artie's rests and leaned down for eye contact. "whatever it is I'll say yes, I promise," Kurt had such a look of confidence Artie almost wanted to say something impossible just to contradict him "but you haven't even-" Artie started "regardless" Kurt cut him off, "if I have the power I'll do it- so just tell me what you want so you can stop looking at me like I'm going to kick your dog."

"I don't have a dog" Artie quipped but Kurt gave him a stern look. "Okay- I just need you to help me with this project- your- you're the only one I can trust with this."

Kurt came over after school to inspect the car, "wow so your dad really just bought you this?" Kurt asked mildly impressed, "well yeah he paid half and I have been saving up from my job at the florist." Kurt snorted, he had been particularly difficult about it when he heard Artie helped his aunt out at 'bunches of bunches.' "And my brothers bought me the attachments," he held up the bag, "I pretty sure it cleaned them out, HC's are really pricey."

Kurt installed the permanent hand controls to the car easily, and Artie felt particularly blessed that he was friends with the son of a mechanic who would do this for free tutoring in math instead of the extra cash he didn't have. "So" Kurt started, wiping his hands on his jeans in a very unlike Kurt manner (though very mechanic-Kurt manner) "is this it?"

"well ah no" Artie hesitated, "I mean, I don't want you to feel responsible or anything" he started to ramble, "my dad will be there- but could you be there too?" he looked at up at Kurt red faced "I'm sorry what?" Kurt laughed nervously, Artie cleared his throat, "come with me- at least the first time you know while I'm learning, I just- don't think I can do it without you…" his voice trailed off very quietly.

Kurt stood shocked for a second, knowing how big a deal this was to Artie, the car, the accident, the fear- it was all a strictly off limits topic in their friendship and now suddenly it wasn't. Kurt looked him straight in the eye and with all the calm, nonchalance he could manner e could muster said "sure." And that was that.

**Because technically we never saw Quinn cook- only that she made a mess**

Santana knew it was going to be a challenge. Even so when she took on the job of teaching Brittney how to cook some basic meals, she didn't realise how big of a challenge it would be. Though her fear of Brittney after high school on her own, starving because of a complete lack of cooking knowledge outweighed any annoyance she had felt for the last six hours.

Firstly, Brittney didn't do recipes so Santana had printed a special leaflet like book of the recipes she was going to eventually teach onto pink paper, and added glitter and bright pictures of food. Brittney liked her book and Santana felt one step closer.

So first she tried spaghetti because really, who fucked up spaghetti? The answer was Brittney. The answer was also Quinn who had come to help supervise and proved the only cooking Quinn did besides cooking her bun in her oven was cupcakes. There was half cooked spaghetti on Santana's now less than pristine kitchen ceiling. She briefly felt sorry for her maid- then felt unsorry because really that was the women's job.

Okay so then they tried cupcakes, which was Quinn specialty so more helping hands right? Turns out more helping hands just meant the spaghetti on the ceiling had company and Santana had cleavage full of flour and Brittney had chunks of butter in her hair and Quinn had small identifiable scratches from where Santana had briefly chased her around trying to stab her repeatedly with a plastic spatula.

In the end she figured toast was safe, nice harmless toast. It turns out Brittney can totally handle toast but Quinn could not and was banished from Santana's kitchen in a fit of rage when she almost set her drapes alight. Brittney was a little put out by the whole thing (she had wanted to see the fire-fighters) and Santana resigned to the fact she was probably going to have to marry Brittney and become some kind of super wife because there was noway she was going to able to teach her to cook.

**Turns out pulling the shit you pulled in high school at work might get you fired.**

'Sheets and things' was rapidly becoming Puck's least favourite places to be. Seriously. He had to like work there and stuff. And there were not nearly as many MILFs as one would expect. Okay not as many MILFs which he hadn't already totally boned.

Also Finn and him were back in that weird place since Beth had been born and Puck had been tempted to send Artie over again to fix it with his cripple magic, but he thinks he better at least try before resorting to the dark arts. Just so he has an excuse if God should ever ask.

Anyway so their manager- she's been promoted- Terri is like this complete and utter raging bitch since she broke up with Mr Schue (well it could have been a pre-existing condition but Puck feels Mr Schue would have caught the nearest train outta crazyville a lot sooner if she had been like this while they were married.) Oh and also she had a totally lady boner for Finn, and that was a little sick.

Sure, Puck slept with older women all the time but that was because he was a badass and mature and stuff but Finn… Finn was more like a puppy, and that sick lady should not want to fuck a puppy!

Now having sufficiently squicked himself out with talks of bestiality, Puck went back to folding sheets, or attempting too, how the hell does a person fold a fitted sheet anyway. It was like literally impossible.

Puck thought maybe he should get back into the pool cleaning business, of the lawn mowing business or hell even the lemonade stand making business (in which he made lemonade stands and sold them to suckers who wish to sell lemonade the old fashion way.) he even thought of just beating up a bunch of people into giving him money but he felt this would put him back in a bad place with his glee friends so he dismissed the idea. The point was, THE POINT WAS, the point was…? Oh yeah he hated his job.

He had just stacked the last of the sheets when he felt something cold and frozen down his back. Some ASSHOLE had thrown frozen coke down his back, and Puck thought if business was just like high school then he'd clearly just been labelled a gleek.

Well. He knew how to deal with this shit in high school.

**Author's note:** okay, so I actually had to do research for this chapter sorta (here's a helpful link: http :/www. / watch?v=3YoMpMrz4q4) also Arts camp and retreat were things I had to suffer through in high school so, so do the glee kids. And I may have managed to make a reference to ping pong in every chapter now.

Also on a side note, I am in fact Australian (which is just like being English only totally more awesome) and have very little working knowledge of how the American school system actually works (TV can only tell me so much). Any and all help would be appreciated. Also if you don't call them 'car parks' what the hell do you call them? Please inquiring minds are inquiring.

You should know the drill by now kind viewer, review and I write chapters quicker. I run on praise, or criticism or whatever you got, I just want to know your reading.


	7. School work, PE and electives

**Author's note: **you probably don't know but today was a huge deal for Australian politics where the PM (who I was quite fond of) was kick out and replaced by a ginger. I was up in arms all day. I had to listen to politics and everything, which I hate doing.

Anyway our new PM was the minister of education so when I went to write this I was like, why are the glee kids never in any class but Spanish? So in response, this. So thanks for all the help on the school system thing and ah, really? parking lot you say? Weird.

**Just the way no one wants to start the morning **

Morning assemblies were sort of a rarity at William McKinley High School, the morning announcements usually sufficed only to be replaced about once every two months for a morning assembly. Which usually entailed; lectures, announcements and performances.

It was the performances were the thing that held up the whole unnecessary ordeal up. The last assembly had been another glee performance- and although they had done a rather impressive version of 'once upon a dream' they had still received twice as many beatings and slushy facials for holding the general populus up. Also for daring to sing a Disney song. Yeah in retrospect it may have all been about the Disney song.

This time the Jazz band and the string quartet were performing two separate pieces thus ensuring the students that the assembly would be just as long and boring as always.

Figgins had droned for a particularly long time, and Puck had taken it upon himself to mess with the freshman girl sitting in front of him. Kicking her chair, pulling her hair, tapping her shoulder; you know the classics.

Finn smacked Puck over the head; he was sitting next to Kurt, who was sitting behind Puck. "Quit it Puck" the girl smiled gratefully it him before turning back around, pulling her pigtails to the front of her and out of harms way. "What?" Puck hissed back, ignoring the futile shushing sound Mrs Defiglio was making, "Jazz Band is about to perform," Tina glared at both of them, leaning over Kurt and pushing Finn back into his seat, "so pay attention."

"I don't care women," Puck snapped back at her, "don't call me that," she continued to glare and then looked away up to the stage, smiling at waving at Artie as he rolled on to the stage. "The Jazz Band doesn't have to help us every week you know, they do it to be nice" Kurt adds in a superior tone, raising his eyebrows at the boys. "That and cause they're a little in love wheels and his guitar," Mercedes pointed out but both her friends shushed her and the music began.

A few seats down and across "I didn't know we had a band," Brittney told Santana, swaying to the music, Santana gave her a look- but Brittney was so desensitised to that particular look she just smiled wider and hummed along. "Oh! Look Artie's in it too!" Brittney pointed, Santana pulled her hand down and placed it in her lap "yes Brit that's why the band plays with us in glee" she told her. Brittney merely nodded and Santana let it drop as Brittney looked up in wonder at the stage.

**Holla amigos I never took Spanish **

Spanish was a class Finn tried to stay awake for. Mr Schuster had always been his favourite teacher, even before he had joined glee- it's just- Spanish was hard.

"Psst Kurt," he whispered throwing a balled up piece of paper at the boys head, "what is it Finn?" he whispered back in annoyance, rubbing his head "I could charge you with assault you know." Finn ignored the part where Kurt wasn't being helpful, he was pretty sure Kurt didn't mean it anyway and said "I can't understand this question." Kurt stared in annoyance for a second "ask Mercedes she's closer." Finn nodded and wrote on a piece of paper "what's the answer to question thirteen?" and slid it 'inconspicuously' over to Mercedes.

The girl read it and wrote back, "you're up to THIRTEEN!" that sort of instilled him with a little confidence, but did not solve his problem. Brittney and Quinn were sitting in front of him gossiping quietly, Quinn's worksheet complete but Brittney didn't even look like she had started except to draw a rainbow. He considered the pros and cons of asking Quinn. But things weren't any better since he found out about who the real father of the baby was. Actually he was starting to feel worse and worse as the due date drew closer and closer, so he best just leave it.

He was so stuck- what did 'las felicitaciones que usted es terminado' mean anyway? He wanted to put up his hand, but every time he did Mr Schue looked up and smiled encouragingly at him and he just couldn't. He just didn't want to look stupid. It was Mr Schue after all and even though he said he could tell him anything- he just couldn't do this.

Funny how Mr Schue was such an approachable teacher, and yet Finn- one of his favourite students couldn't even get the bravery to raise his hand in class.

**Puck gets caught up to and sent to the dragon **

Puck was aware that all good luck ran out. Look at Quinn, before her he had a string of good luck (see: talent) of sleeping with chicks, after her pregnancy no chick at school will look at him in fear of his 'ultra fertile sperm.' So really it was only a matter of time they found out about his scam to get out of math class. That didn't mean it didn't totally blow that he was busted.

So they took away his lunch period, his 'lunch period' for Gods sake! Giving him a new one and sticking him in Miss Goodal's class. It is a widely known fact Miss Goodal is some special kind of heinous bitch who most defiantly needs to get laid, too bad she's one of the ones he totally wouldn't put out for. She had serious lesbian hair issues. Sort of like Mr Schuster's.

Anyway, so now not only does he have to put up with Miss Goodal, he has to go to class! And like learn things and stuff, which he's totally dreading because he hates math. Anyway he shows up total last minuet and sits in a back seat. It takes him like five minuets to realise his seat and desk are insanely low and the only reason he can see the board is because of the weird angle.

He looks around and almost screams (in a manly way) at the sight of Artie sitting next to him. What the hell. He had it on good authority Artie was some kind of freshman- had they shoved him in a freshman class or something? If so that is so not cool, he defiantly done well enough to pass that class. Or had at least; had done enough research into Mr Black's interesting private life to blackmail him into a pass in that class.

Then if that wasn't bad enough Berry runs in all shrill and late. She stares at Puck, so Puck stares at her, so she stares at him some more, so Puck- OKAY so they were looking at each other in a somewhat intense way. "Noah? What are you doing in my seat?" well wait- Berry wasn't a freshman either, he had French with her… unless he was repeating French too!

"It hasn't got your name on it," Puck shrugged and Miss Goodal snapped her head up, "Miss Berry please just take a seat next to Mr Hummel." Berry glared at him- like it was his fault or some shit and sat in the seat next to Hummel who sat next to Artie. "I want Mr Puckerman to sit next to Mr Abrams regardless; it would do him some good."

Now that he thought about it maybe it wasn't so much of a 'Puck's-so-stupid-we-held-him-back' thing as an 'Artie-is-so-nerdy-we're-making-him-do-hard-math' thing. Also it's looking like that the teacher totally had a boner for Artie's brain- but whatev.

Hummel looked over at Puck, like it was the first time he was seeing him. "Puck" he hissed, "what are you doing here? This isn't your class" Puck rolled his eyes. "He got busted for not showing up to class, they must of sent him here" Artie supplied, Jesus wasn't anything he told that guy confidential- he needed to talk to Artie about the code (in which he didn't make him look bad in front of the women folk). Puck elbowed him hard, "what Hummel I can't just want to learn?"

"Oh Puck" he shook his head at him, "you don't 'learn.'" Now there was nothing said that wasn't true didn't mean Puck wasn't now planning to fill Hummel's new hat with jello.

**Take it from me- you can't just skip to the end of Flowers for Algernon **

There was nothing interesting about 'flowers for Algernon.' It was hard fact. Matt couldn't imagine anybody wanting to read it for fun and certainly not for a class assignment. Yet here he was. Trying to read the same God damn pages he'd been trying to read all God damn week.

And thanks to Mrs Defiglio's stupid alphabetical seating plan he wasn't even close enough to Mike to talk to him about it. Not that he seemed to be making heads or tails of the book either but at least it seemed he was further in. Matt was still re-reading the part with all the spelling mistakes which were driving him crazy. When he first got the book he had pointed them out to Mrs Defiglio but the women was a ridged old crone and had glared him down and then made him read the blurb on the back.

The blurb did clear some things up, but still. She could have been less horrid about it. Mike had laughed for 10 straight minuets when he told him about it. And then told him to sparks notes it, which was always Mike's answer to English. God knows what he'd ever do if they had to read something a bit less known.

The website had cleared up a few things. Like the setting and the laws and stuff for the disabled at the time. Matt hadn't realised shit like that was still happening in the 60s. Hell his grandfather was alive in the 60s, and was it just cool to do that kind of shit then, and if that was the case what kind of stuff that he thought was alright to do now, would be totally not cool to do 50 years from now? No wonder his grandad felt obsolete.

Mrs Defiglo didn't want to answer any of these questions either, so he went back to skimming and trying to answer the questions on the worksheet. He had tried to skip to the ending to see what happened but that just made him even more confused more. So last night he and Mike had try to understand the moral of the story- because that's always what they want you to talk about in essays.

Mike said it was ignorance is bliss- but that didn't seem right, just cause the dude didn't know better didn't mean he wasn't totally getting a short end of the stick. He thought about how before he joined glee he was ignorant. Ignorant of people. Ignorant of feelings and faces. With noway to connect them as humans, as people he could care about- to the things he did to them. So he tried to imagine having to go back, knowing what he knows now and go back to being the person he was. It all seemed very cruel for him and for Algernon.

So overall all Matt learned was that this Daniel Keyes guy was a total dick.

**Your worth is all about what it's being measured by**

Santana hadn't initially wanted to do metalwork as a subject, but the only other subject that matched her A.P classes (the ones she did to keep up with Quinn) was publishing- and out of the two, the one with blow torches and sharp metal objects seemed easier.

The class had become much more bearable since glee, where she had gotten to know Matt- and not just it the biblical sense but actually got to know Matt. Matt was really quite awesome at metalwork and was always willing to help her out. This made him a pretty nice guy, which had originally been pretty sweet for her but then later had totally bitten her on the ass when Rachel Berry had transfer into Metalwork and out of computer classes after she crashed that forth computer.

Matt had felt sorry for her. This was totally a rookie mistake as she had absolved herself from feeling sorry for Rachel Berry years ago. She had stumbled around and Matt had shown her how to work things which totally took away from the time he spent showing her how to do things.

Eventually Rachel learned though and it turned out she was pretty good, particularly at making metal rings and she even made a tool box for her dad (which one she wasn't quite sure- she guess the one who had tools just laying around.) Santana on the other hand had struggled for ages on a wine rack (even with Matt's help), not that she actually needed one anyway since she found out the real daddy of Quinn's baby Santana has been avoiding drinking anything that could even resemble wine. She used to like to emulate Quinn- but not that much.

Rachel had eventually shown her how to weld properly and both admitted it had probably been a bit over ambitious (but that's just the way Santana operates- she knew Rachel was the same.)

Rachel was good and probably had some unfulfilled future in metal sculpturing and Santana wondered if she even considered it as a talent. Maybe if Santana had told her how much better she was at metalwork than Quinn she would considerate it.

After all that's how Santana measured how good she was at something.

**Situations like these are bad for your health**

There was something particularly Horrible about learning about health while pregnant. It was like she had a giant 'what not to do' sign on her head or something, and if people had pointed and giggle before, well they certainly went into overdrive in health class.

That being said there was something particularly worse about health class. That was being in said class with the boy you pretended was the baby's daddy and the girl who told him it wasn't (and who said boy was also in love with.) she felt there was a lot of unnecessary (but probably deserved) glaring coming from that direction, and generally the whole thing made her feel awkward.

It's not like she and Finn talked anymore, not that she hadn't tried. But she could get why he didn't. Try that is. In reverse she can't really see her trying to fix the relationship, only it did hurt because it wasn't like their relationship had been built on sex. Pretty much the opposite in fact, they had liked each other. She had liked talking to him, and she was pretty sure once upon a time they had even been friends.

Before dating they most defiantly had. They had danced around each other almost a year before hand, trying to know what to say and how to act. They had even been cute- they weren't cute anymore though. Not either of them. Finn was some much happier and well rounded and he had found someone who he thought could do the whole friend thing with again. And she- she was fat. Alone. Pregnant.

So today was made so much humiliating when Mrs Fortman (their particularly conservative catholic teacher) strolled to the front of the class, gleam in her eye, looking straight at Quinn.

"Today class, we're going to learn about safe sex." God she could just die.

**Starting to notice a trend in Puck's chair stealing ways **

Tina was lucky enough to have lunch with all her friends, though now it seemed Puck also shared the period. She wouldn't normally mind but he was bugging Artie trying to get him to explain some math problem, like he hadn't talked all the way through Artie's performance that morning and was entitled.

"Artie," she slipped her hand in his and smiled sweetly at him, "hey Tina," he smiled one of his 'hey Tina' smiles (he had very specific smiles when it came to her) and squeezed her hand. "No dude! No time for girls," Puck pulled Artie's attention away from her "I can't believe you just said that." Artie laughed in response "I know right? But I so don't want to have to repeat so I need a decent mark on this quiz tomorrow."

"But Artie" Tina started "let them be" Kurt told Tina, grasping her other hand examining her nails, "it's not every day Noah Puckerman tries at school." Mercedes nodded "and we won't even crash your date tonight, Kurt and I have got bulk amounts of Spanish to study for." Artie perked up stopping mid-sentence to thank the two profusely and grin mischievously at Tina which made her stomach go all warm.

"Hello," Rachel stood, looking at Puck warily "Noah, your sitting in my seat again," Puck rolled his eyes "God Berry what is it about you and seats." Rachel just stood dumbly, Artie was the only one who really made room for her at the table, and she didn't know who to sit next to other wise.

"Maybe I should find Finn," she muttered, "no!" Tina rushed, untangling her hand from Artie's so she could pull Rachel down next to her. "Puck stole Artie from me too" she explained, "maybe we should make a club," Rachel told her solemnly "I'm sure some of Artie's band mates would join- they always seem starved for his attention."

Tina laughed when she realised Rachel was joking, she hadn't realised Rachel knew how to joke. There was a pregnant pause between the two, and they picked at their meals, Rachel had gotten soup and Tina had brought a corn beef sandwich- which she had already shared half with Mercedes.

"Do you girls have P.E today?" asked Kurt between mouthfuls of questionable tuna bake, "not until tomorrow I think," Mercedes replied. "God, you're lucky! I here coach Tanaka is on the war path, a whole period of laps for everyone this morning."

"geez I wonder what that's about" Mercedes responded, "he must still be sore that he and Miss Pilsberry spilt right before the wedding," Rachel told them, "I mean she and Mr Schuster got together so fast after that happened, I'd be upset if it were me." Both friends nodded, "he didn't wait long after the separation either" Kurt added, "though that's understandable- did you hear what his wife did!"

They gossiped so intently for the remainder of lunch, no one noticed Puck stealing all their deserts- lime jello, probably for some nefarious unknown reason.

**No one should be subjected to eating fruitcake- even for a passing grade**

One thing about having food class after lunch, is you were never in the mood to work with said food. Still Artie would always smile; it was the one class he and his older friend Mike shared (it was a requirement to graduate that Mike hadn't gotten out of the way as a freshman). He also shared it with Brittney but Artie never really had patience for her the way Santana and Mike did, so it was a slightly difficult relationship.

The three were always together though, as Miss Sylvester (who taught food on top of physical education for extra cash) only considered Brittney and Artie half a person each, for different reasons obviously. The handicaps were clear.

Mike and Brittney were already there aprons on, when he rolled in. Brittney had her text book open and leaned over it intently and Mike was trying to juggle spoons- and failing quite badly.

"What are we doing today?" Artie asked, "The fruit cake for our big project" Brittney showed Artie, the cake wasn't the big part but the thick icing- fondant and overall presentation. "erk- fruit cake" Mike made a face, "it's fine, we just need to follow the instructions," Artie gestured at Brittney to bring him a bowel.

Brittney was not allowed to actually cook- a rule made by Artie and enforced by Mike after the crape disaster which none of them would ever, ever speak of again. So she fetched things and cleaned things and under Artie's supervision she was allowed to stir. That was her favourite part. "Santana taught me to cook this weekend," she told Mike who was collecting ingredients, "pasta and cupcakes and toast! She said I was really good at the toast one," she beamed at him, "good for you Britt," he patted her affectionately on the arm before loading her arms full of food and pointing her back to Artie.

None of them were really good at cooking, and they didn't usually do exactly well under Miss Sylvester's evil eye- not that she would fail them thanks to Brittney and her brilliant flexibility that made her super important to the cheerios. Today however things were going smoothly, and when Miss Sylvester walked by in her frilly pink apron and large chef hat she almost smiled.

Though that was before telling them to remake the entire thing.

**A good friend knows when a friend needs to be hit in the face with a book**

Tina sometime's wondered why some people's history counted more than others. I wasn't like anyone was going to remember her a hundred years from now, yet here she was trying to remember men who did things hundreds of years ago.

She doubted she would want to be remembered like they are though. Theses stories were all so subjective, nothing was really fact but all were a point of view which outlasted the rest. If she had died and lived in history she wondered would she recalled by the memory of a jock, or her boyfriend, by her favourite teacher, or someone who she hated.

No one saw her the same way, so why did she have to remember these people in such specific ways. History mostly irritated her. She didn't hate the class; she didn't hate the teacher or even the curriculum. They just- irritated her. Also their teacher had a strict girl/boy seating arrangement and she was forced to sit next to Puck. And that was enough to ruins anyone's day.

Puck poked her with his pencil every five minuets, making crude references about former presidents and how chopping down a cherry tree was actually symbolic for losing ones virginity. Tina was pained every time she listened to him, because she knew she should be disgusted but sometimes she was actually a little impressed which in turn just made her feel more disgusted with herself.

"So Tina- I suppose you're the expert, how exactly to you perform wheelchair sex?" he asked her quietly catching her off guard, Puck was king of non-sequesters. "w-why do you want to know?" she didn't want to confirm and deny anything, she knew how Artie was insecure sometimes and she didn't want their stories not to match up and embarrass him. He grinned "I knew it! No way you two hadn't the way he goes on about you, you're totally in to the freaky stuff, you can so tell." Tina had a strong urge to hit him in the face with her $250+ history book.

"So give me details, do you s-s-s-stutter for him?" and then she did hit him with her $250+ history book. She could get a new one.

**What's in a name?**

Arts class was a fairly enjoyable class when compared to the high stress levels of the other classes they attended. Mercedes enjoyed it for the pure alone time she got with Kurt, it wasn't anything personal to Tina or Artie it's just they were never aloud to be as bitchy as they wanted when with them. Artie was pretty judgemental for a guy- though granted he had the least amount of mistakes under his suspeders than everyone else and Tina… Mercedes never wanted to disappoint her, she hated the look it garnered.

So Art class was good for them. They painted- Mercedes with textiles, Kurt with watercolours and oils. They bitched, they gossiped, they critiqued and the teacher barely bothered them. Still their deadline for their portfolios was drawing closer. The topic had been family and their teacher had encouraged to be as free and liberal as they wanted.

Mercedes had been traditional. Lot of paintings and sketchings of her mother, father and brother. She had even included Quinn, now that she felt more like a sister than just a friend. He final was a sculpture with collage of photos; she was quite proud and had even gotten Matt to help her with the metal base.

Kurt had quite a few lovely, detailed loving pieces of his dad. None of Finn or his mother she noted, as he had said at the beginning of the project 'I don't feel like they're family yet." He let her look through; there were a lot of new pieces. She stopped at an incredibly expressive oil painting of Artie, who in Kurt's eyes must be more of a brother than Finn ever would be. She and Tina were dancing in watercolour and there was one of the whole glee club. Then more of the four of them.

His final had been a large acrylic painting of his dad among his cars, unaware and working. But the message was clear as far as Mercedes could see; what type of family Kurt had.

**Keeping Track**

All the boys, by some dumb luck, shared the one P.E class with Coach Tanaka. Which was a relief for Mike, he didn't think he could handle Miss Sylvester for two classes. He could barely handle her when he had Artie as a shield.

While P.E lacked any convenient Artie shields, it did have his football friends, which he viewed as a plus. Someone to talk to when they were constantly running laps, with Coach Tanaka following behind on his golf cart- thingy.

Finn never tried to talk to him, like the sheer effort of running took up his concentration- which it probably did. Puck was no fun to talk to because he had just come from History and were saying things about Tina and Artie that Mike really wished he wouldn't. He was mostly holding himself back from punching him in the face at some of the things he was using to describe Tina.

Matt and Kurt seemed to be trying to race, which was funny because Matt kept slowing down so Kurt could catch up before speeding off again leaving the smaller boy in growing frustration.

So with no one to talk to Mike went over a list in his head, things he needed to do; he planned to perfect the new moves for glee rehearsal, finish that God forsaken book for English, find girl so he and Matt could go out on a double date (he wondered if asking if he could borrow Tina would be crossing the line even if he didn't mean anything sexual by it.) He also had a French test soon and algebra homework and wanted to re-watch the Avatar movie (he had been too disappointed at the fact in wasn't Avatar: the last airbender to appreciate it the first time.)

God, he had a lot of stuff to do. Categorising from most important stuff (dancing and school related stuff) to least important stuff (find a girl who's not Tina so he can double date) and that took up most of his lap running time.

The rest of the day went pretty well too, even if he did have to listen to Kurt bitch about the mysterious jello-y substance that appeared in his hat after they got back from track.

**As always requests and reviews are welcome.**


	8. chips, petrol and primary school

**Author's note:** my computer has broken down. Which is sort of sad for me, but not you know you guys. So anyway, I've been thinking about the difference of words for Australians and Americans, at least enough to look up some examples. So for your viewing pleasure (and confusion) each drabble contains a word that the internet told me you guys just don't use.

So ah- have fun with that. : )

**I buy free range eggs and spend a lot of time dissecting them of any fertilisation **

Tina knew a thing or two about baking; it was more out of necessity than anything else; after all her parents were never at home to cook. She was good at the basics, and like to form her own private rebellion by cooking non-kosher meat in the house- but only if she removed all trace evidence from the house.

So when Rachel had ringed her up fast talking and terribly excited about bonding with glee club throughout summer through baking, she had stupidly agreed. Not to mention she had agreed to let them use her kitchen. She had mostly been thinking of Artie on that one though, She and Kurt were the only two with workable ramps- and Kurt's kitchen was insanely small, and hers wasn't.

So on a Sunday, when her parents were in New York or Hong Kong or whatever two word place they were doing business at the moment, the glee club piled into her kitchen. Rachel and Finn had brought Baking ingredient staples of flour, sugar and butter (or what seemed to be 'I can't believe it's not butter'). Tina brought down her cooking book and thwarted Puck and Matt who seemed to be making a beeline to the door.

"I think biscuits would be good," Mercedes told her peering over her shoulder "I mean no chicken foetuses for most types, right?" Tina nodded, "though technically it's not a foetus if it's not fertilised so they would just be a chicken period right?" Mercedes made a disgusted face, "I am never eating eggs again" Tina laughed "you say that now…" and watched Mercedes run off.

Rachel had brought aprons, as had Kurt and Tina had pulled out the several her mother had brought from overseas with various witty comments emblazed on the front. She looked around, Puck had evidently not been fast enough and was wearing a frilly purple monstrosity of Rachel's and was trying to harass a trade with Mike for his more subdued 'No Bitchen in my Kitchen' apron which he had brought from home.

They had split up into three groups with three different types of biscuit to make; Santana had cornered her to work out groups spreading the cooking challenged Brittney, Quinn and Finn into different groups. Of course Rachel ended up in neither of their groups and all was well for about the first few minuets.

Though Tina had figured out fairly quickly Mike had been stretching the truth about his cooking skills, he and Tina still managed to put their marsbar biscuits in the oven first. Followed by Quinn's group (though she suspected Puck had more to do with that than Quinn) and Santana's group didn't even get to bake theirs as the oven was full and they had mostly eaten the dough before the oven was free again.

Later Tina tried one of Artie's slightly burnt peanut butter and chocolate chip biscuits to be nice, but they were actually quite nice once you scraped off the burnt parts. Rachel mostly just jumped up and down excitedly and told Tina how happy she was Tina was being involved. And she thought maybe she should have had Rachel in her group after all.

**What? Isn't this how you guys decided what to do too? **

The only thing the four of them could agree upon when they went shopping was when it was time to eat. Prior to eating, Artie would want to go to the bookstore, and Tina would want to check out the candles in a shop with a fairly hippish name. Both Kurt and Mercedes would want to go clothes shopping- but never at the same stores.

After about half and hour of arguing they would head to the food court and split up. They'd each go to a different fast food restaurant and buy a large chips and coke and grab lots of napkins. Mercedes would wipe the table with hers because she had a thing about germs and the others would cover every square inch of the table with theirs and then dump there chips on the table.

Who ever had the most would decide what they did, so the game got a little underhanded and sneaky at times. Sometimes Artie and Tina had been outnumbered when Kurt and Mercedes decided they both wanted to shop at the same stores and pooled their resources together.

Today however was not one of those days, Tina winning by kind of a lot due to the combination of a low cut top and her ability to lean. This was mostly how Tina won, and had a specific top she changed into before the game started, which Artie referred to as her 'chip cheating top' (which he had liked until she decided to use her cleavage for evil instead of good.)

Maybe they should just find another way- maybe flip a coin or something crazy like that.

**Puck not knowing anything about cars would amuses me**

Puck had convinced Quinn to go out with him for the day. She had been pretty blue since giving up baby Beth (which was a complete understatement of how he felt about the whole situation.) he d hfelt compelled for some reason, it wasn't like she was really his baby momma anymore because well- no baby, but damn if he hated it when Quinn looked that sad.

He had planned something big, outside of Lima. It seemed smart, after all Quinn was always going on and on about how much she hated the God damn place, and maybe she would find some nice guy and be a bit happier. After all she was almost back to her smoking hot bod and even if she wasn't Puck was an awesome wing man- this wasn't so much based on fact as an assumption because he was awesome at most dating relating things so why not wingman? If a gay guy on a TV show could do it, than so could he.

They had been on the highway when the car started to falter. They had been on the highway when Puck's plans started to falter. Damn it all! He veered off the road just as the car stopped on its own accord. "What the hell Puck?"

Quinn glared her 'oh-my-God-why-are-you-such-a-fuck-up' glare which was reserved especially for Puck (and had once upon a time been created for the purpose of guilting Finn into stuff.) "I donno," he popped the hood and pretended like he knew what the fuck he was doing, "should I call Kurt?" she called from the car, "GOD NO!" he would never hear the end of it if the guys caught wind of it. Cars were such a guy thing and he didn't care what Artie said Kurt Hummel was no guy.

"hmmm" Quinn said leaning over the front of the car, hitting the dash board and watched the dial fall from full to empty. "PUCK!" she screamed, he rushed over, looking where she was pointing, struck dumb in anger. The dial that had read full seconds ago was glaring at him. EMPTY. No petrol. Well fuck me. He should probably get that check out. He scrolled through his head the names of guys he could call, Mike had crashed Matt's family camping trip so both of them were out. He couldn't call anyone else on the team, Finn would come but Puck really didn't want him to come. Artie would come but Puck didn't trust those hand controls- some people just shouldn't drive. Well God damn it.

"Well you might as well call Hummel then, but the old one, not the gay one."

**I'm not sure she's ****that**** high maintenance to be honest**

Finn didn't like to be dishonest with his girlfriend. Rachel was sweet and well- a lot intense (which he sort of really like when she focused all that intensity on him) and he hated lying to her. Okay technically he wasn't lying as much as omitting the truth.

Yeah so it wasn't that he was lying as much as he was leaving stuff out. Finn didn't want to dwell on that line of thought though as someone could say Quinn and Puck had just been omitting the truth about the baby, or Mrs Schuster had just omitting the truth about her fake baby to Mr Schuster. And well, he really didn't want to think about it. Like at all. Ever if he could manage.

Anyway this so wasn't the same thing even. He wasn't hiding a baby, he was just not telling her who was providing the meat to the barque at Mike's they were going to. He should be scared it's just Rachel was admittedly high maintenance- and part of that meant no un-kosher meat, or no meat at all if possible.

He had been more than happy to comply when it meant dating her, and he was even pretty good about not eating anything like that in front of her. But he had promised to provide the meat, and Rachel wouldn't be pleased if he broke a promise so he felt this was sort of a catch twenty-two situation. He wished he had asked her where that kosher meat place was- he asked Puck, but he had just stared dumbly at him for a while and then shrugged.

He just hopes she wouldn't say anything about the smell- or look in the boot.

**None of my friends in high school lived in the same Post code**

Brittney didn't live in the same postcode as everyone- she in fact sort of lived far away from everyone else. Technically she wasn't even supposed to go to 'this' high school. She used to live close to Santana in Middle school but then she had moved and Brittney had just sort of followed.

She had showed up unregistered and had stayed for about three weeks before the secretary for John Quincy Adams High School called up in concern that they hadn't seen Brittney, you know ever. Her mum had been very understanding and had cleared up the mess and let her transfer to be close to Santana.

So for the most part it worked out, Brittney stayed over at Santana's a lot which was fun, and other than that it didn't really affect her. Except for that one week in the summer when Santana's mother and stepdad number four would whisk her off with them on some cruise and Brittney was alone.

It wasn't like Brittney could drive. Her parents had seemed particularly fearful about teaching her, and even when they had the mean instructor kept failing her. She didn't know what she was doing wrong only maybe that she didn't pay attention to the road all of the time.

So she was kinda housebound that week. She couldn't take the bus- because buses were scary and stressed her out. Four days into her imprisonment, she supposed she had been complaining to Mike a lot because he showed up at the front of her house. She almost got excited, and then remembered Mike couldn't drive either- maybe he flew? Though that was silly he didn't have wings or a cape or anything.

He held out a brochure, "it's a bus timetable," he grabbed her hand and smiled, "jeez Britt what's the point of living right next to a bus shelter if your not going to use it?"

**The last line of the** **Lonesome / Gregarious Cowboy **

Santana had, had the same doona since she was four. It was impossibly large at the time (and still sort of was), and had been made by her grandma before she had relocated to Florida.

It was her favourite thing in her room. She realised it might be a little childish, it was brightly coloured and funny shaped, which would be an unbearable eyesore she couldn't ignore if it hadn't been so thick and warm.

When she had taken Brittney home for the first time, she almost felt a need to hide it, but typical Brittney, face planted it into her bed and hugged it. "Wow Santana it's smells like you." Needless to say she loved it, and back when Brittney sleeping over really did mean just sleeping over they would make a tent out of it and read magazines by flashlight and giggle.

When sleepovers stopped being sleepovers, and stopped being exclusively for girls, she used to hide it in her closet until they were done. She did it because she didn't want it dirty or smelly and not at all because it felt like her grandma was watching her.

Then Puck happened, he'd seen it once and laughed and called it childish. She had kicked him out and cried into it for a little while. The next time Puck came over it was permanently shelved in her closet, and Puck became a sort of replacement, draping himself over her bed.

It wasn't until after Finn left, when he had said he didn't feel anything, she paused and took the old thing back down. Because it wasn't like she loved him or anything or even liked him but- she wasn't nothing. She was something, and she just had to take down the things that reminded her of that.

**Artie once again displays tremendous amounts of upper body strength **

The thing about footpaths was, they just weren't structurally designed to hold a group. Not if they all wanted to stand side by side anyway. Artie, in some ways knew it was lucky he was so small, because it at least meant someone could walk next to him, unlike the dreadlocked senior in a wheelchair who took up a lot more space.

Still on particularly narrow footpaths, like the one stretching out from Kurt's house too the ice-cream shop- things were a bit difficult.

No one really wanted to take the chance to stand next to him; there was a fence on one side and a surprisingly busy road on the other. It's just, it situations like this- situations when he couldn't look people in the eye. They were the situations which people sort of left him out of conversations.

"Sorry Artie," Mercedes apologised again, she kept asking Tina questions about him like he wasn't even there- something she was very good at not doing most of the time. "It's just I'm right in front of you…" she trailed off, turning her head enough so he could she her apologetic face. "I forget your there" and well that didn't sting at all.

"That's like the fifth time Cedes" Kurt pointed out in frustration from behind Artie, Kurt had been left out of the conversation all together and was 'particularly' vexed. "Easily fixed" Artie smirked at Kurt before reaching for Mercedes' hips and pulling her down on his lap. She screamed a little, and Tina paused in surprise at the front of the line, "try to ignore me now" and smirked as he continued to move them both on the narrow footpath until he almost ran into Tina.

"No fair" Kurt whined, as Tina pressed on and they started moving, "I want a ride," Artie raised an eyebrow at him, "just get on the back like Tina does," Kurt stared in surprise. "y-you can't possibly-" Artie nodded enthusiastically, "I used to cart around my brothers and they were huge- I'm sure I could carry all three of you."

A little while latter a very surprised ice-cream server stood dumbly as a boy in a wheelchair wheeled in, a girl was sitting on his lap, and a boy hanging on the back like a child would to a shopping trolley, who was in turn giving a gothic girl a piggy back ride, while trying to balance.

Well… that was a bit odd. Even for Lima.

**Hear the music- yup it's a flashback (Rachel has yet to grow as a person)**

Nobody really paid attention to the noticeboard at school. Rachel was of course a shining exception; all the really important things were posted on the notice board. So when they finally put up the new sign up sheet for glee, she was the first to put her name down.

She sort of staked out the board from then on, but kept a distance. She really didn't want it to splashed with slushy again, and it did tend to go everywhere- décor included.

Kurt and Mercedes were unexpected really, not that they couldn't sing (which there auditions had assured her they could) but they were so aware of the social order of things, she didn't think they would risk it. She was glad they had after all, everyone needed back up singers. And proportionally they were about right.

Later a freshman in a wheelchair and Tina signed up and well they were a bit more of a shock, and Rachel admitted she had been a little worried. She had known of Tina for years- the girl was a terrible stutterer, how would she even get though a song? She would totally put everyone off, and well Artie was going to screw with dance routines no matter how good a singer he was (and really he just generally made her uneasy.)

She would say she supposed she could do worse, but she's really not sure she could. Oh well at least no one would outshine her.

**I might like Quartie a little bit and this seems to be a big cliché for them**

There were proportionately a lot more primary schools than middle schools or high schools in Lima. So not everyone who ended up in high school together, grew up together. Quinn hadn't in fact known any of the cheerleaders. She hadn't known Finn or Puck or even Rachel.

She had known Artie though. Before the accident, and he was still Arthur and no one coddled him, they had been friends sort of. Back when his mother wasn't a mess and her mother wasn't depressed, they used to best friends. Mrs Abrams would bring Arthur over to play and gossip while they played out the back.

Artie had a good imagination, and would make up stories and tell her things. He would tell her about places they'd never been and stories that weren't real and Quinn would get frustrated with him. "stop making things up!" she would tell him and run away angrily only to come back later in shame and ask him to tell her more stories of things that may or may not exist outside of Lima.

When Artie told the story- Quinn could be a princess, or a warrior or something equally un-girly and that was okay. They'd make forts and Quinn would pretend to be captured so Artie could save her. And sometimes Quinn would save Artie.

Then the accident happened and Quinn couldn't save him anymore. She wasn't allowed to see him anymore. Their parent's didn't speak and Artie was in pain all of the time and Quinn felt like she was in pain all of the time, because not even Artie's imagination was going to make it possible for him to walk again.

Artie didn't come back to school; he went to a new one when he felt better. She didn't see him again till high school and by then she had grown used to telling herself stories about a world outside of the world she lived in and she was afraid if she spoke to him she would find he didn't dream about it anymore. And that would be heartbreaking.

After a while of being in glee though, she wondered, hand on her swollen belly, if she had stayed friends with him. Or if he had never gotten hurt in the first place. Would things be the way they were now? Or would she be somewhere else. Somewhere far from teen pregnancies and cruel boys and real life. Somewhere where she could be a princess and he could be a knight and they could save each other.

**Please Review- it kind of makes me happy**


	9. fairy tales, thinking and Tina

**Author's note: **I am writing this rather late and not very coherently but I hope it's alright. It has quite a bit of Tina which I'm please with anyway. Anywho if she have any requests they'd actually be greatly appreciated, I'm running out of combinations for characters and a fresh set of eyes does wonders.

**Relationship: an emotional or sexual affair or liaison **

There is no defining moment for them. There was no one moment like with Finn and Rachel or Mr Schue and his wife, no moment that told you exactly what was happening in the relationship. Nothing to tell them whether they were supposed to be together or not. She knew it wasn't going to happen, but hey a sign would be nice.

They weren't great lovers (okay they so were but not in the truly romantic sense), they weren't great friends or even good friends. It wasn't an itch or a need or some great heady attraction. So Santana watched people in the glee club (it was a hobby really). She would look at Finn and Rachel and see unbridled passion- it seemed nice but way too emotional, looked at Mercedes and Kurt and saw long lasting friendship- not a romance and not at all what she wanted, looked at Tina and Artie and saw enduring love- something that had slipped out of the movies and was unrealistic even if it was right in front of her.

She looked at Puck and saw… not anything really and she was glad. Actually she was really fucking glad!

Because she didn't want to rush into her life, she didn't want some big love in high school, she didn't want someone who understood her to the core (though Brittney came close) she didn't want to think about marriage, or babies or even what happens out of high school. She didn't want calls at for in the morning, or jealousy or even the sweet moments.

She was happy with just enough, it wasn't settling because it wasn't permanent. Puck was a rental; she wasn't going to marry him or anything. One day after high school she would go to collage far away, she would get a high paying successful job, she would have three great loves- one passionate, one understanding and one fulfilling. She would marry someone who wasn't any of the three and she would be content. Not happy but content. That was her future. She was sure.

But all of that was a million miles away, and all she wanted now was something she could be sure of, something real and honestly- there was nothing realer than Puck.

**The day Will Schuster fell in love**

When Will was a freshman he fell in love for the first time. He didn't know it was love at the time, but he knew one thing for certain. April Rhoades was a goddess.

He had seen her on his first day, he had been walking the halls- and then there she was. Long blonde hair, big stormy heavy lidded eyes and an indecently low cut shirt. Those were the only facts he took in- and hey at 15 they were the only facts that really mattered right?

He changed the direction he was going in and followed her and a pack of giggling girls that were with her. They weaved through the crowd with a finesse he was yet to master and Will ended up slamming straight into a large, mean hockey player.

After pulling himself out of the dumpster Will made a resolve to find that girl again.

He moped for weeks. She was a senior, he was now sure, and therefore must be always off in the senior's area because he didn't see her in the halls he had been staking out in hopes of seeing her. He pulled himself together eventually. He made some friends- he was rather popular with people in his class and he tried to push that beautiful girl to the back of his mind.

Even so, when he spotted a flip of blond hair he ran like a dutiful puppy. She was here again! He made sure not to loose her this time, following her to a section of the school he'd never been to.

It must be the arts area- Will had no real affinity with art or music and tended to stay away from the whole thing. But for her… he'd follow her anywhere.

He ended up in the auditorium, the girl was surrounded by people and Will desperately wished he could have been one of them. Then the music started- and he **desperately** wished he could have been one of them.

Will didn't know it then- but he had just fallen in love.

**Tina expresses herself through her clothing choices**

When Tina first discovered steam punk, Principal Figgins had gone ballistic. Thinking she was returning to the dress of her original time period before she was turned- she had told him she had been born turned and he had ran away screaming so that settled that. Though she felt the istalation of several large crosses on the walls around her locker were unnecessary (what if she had been a vampire? That was just unsafe.)

She had originally gone for the full skirt Victorian dresses- though they were a pain to move around in and Kurt had spent a good ten minuets crawling under her skirt trying to adjust the damn thing. That had caused some looks and Kurt had looked vaguely traumatised when he came out from under there so there was that too.

So she tried for something shorter, and sucked it up and bought some corsets- the real ones with the lace and wire- which had made her pass out in English class. Mercedes had taken her shopping and picked up some made of stretch material and all was well (though Tina had to wear the helmet because Mercedes had that evil shopping glint in her eye).

Artie and Rachel had been whispering and conspiring in a way that would have made her uncomfortable if it had been anyone else (but Rachel was still dating Jesse and in love with Finn so Tina figured she was a little to busy to include Artie in her mess of a love life right now.)

Rachel had eventually made it clear what they were whispering about by slapped down a heavy, thick stack of papers on an available desk in the practice room before glee club. "Artie has explained to me what this 'steam punk' fashion statement is but I thought perhaps for your health you might want to look into some ideas for clothing choices."

It was rather in depth really, very Rachel Berry. "Here" Artie brandished a set of thick goggles "you can borrow my 'Dr Horrible' goggles." She placed them on her head with a grin- Artie loved them and was quite protective of the goggles (she had thought Artie might of loved Dr Horrible more than her- he was the only man Artie openly fawned over.)

Two weeks later, it was her birthday. Her parents were actually there for a change and even let her invite Artie over for dinner. It had been nice, they got her some expensive gothic clothing from japan.

When Artie came he brought her the usual of dvds and sweets as well as a plaid skirt and knee high socks as a present and whispered "I suggest you try the preppy look for Christmas time- I think it would freak them out even more" Tina grinned, hugging them tightly to her chest. He knew her so well.

**Not at all like the breakfast club**

After the incident of the Glist, even though no one was expelled, Principal Figgins had demanded everyone still needed to attend detention. That, needless to say did not go over well.

"We weren't even on the glist" Kurt whined, Artie nodded enthusiastically "that's right" and then shot a private annoyed look at Quinn. She blushed darkly, "I'm sure they just wanted to make it an even ten" she mumbled, "yes but that implies we are lower than Rachel who was an unfair -5."

"What does it even matter," Rachel raged, "it doesn't change the fact we're all missing out on glee." Though it had mattered, Rachel had cried for hours- it hurt way worse when it was a friend telling you they thought you unappealing (and she did consider everyone in glee her friends) than a cheerleader or jock or some other random person that hated her. She hoped it was someone like Matt or Santana- that would hurt a lot less (it wasn't like she talked to them.)

Mrs Sylvester had 'of course' watched over the detention with eagle eyes (there had been a large fight about it in Figgins office), and there was to be NO talking of any kind. Rachel was looking a little stir crazy and Mike was physically restraining his feet to prevent from any toe tapping. Mrs Sylvester filled up any silence with ranting. She enjoyed the captivated (or captured at any rate) audience.

Preaching about the ineffectiveness and uselessness of glee club, the wonders of cheerleading (see: how great she was at everything) and practiced a few choice 'Schuster insults' and gauged the meanness of the comment by the reaction of the kids faces. Ah the simple pleasures of teaching.

**In which the author avoids any of her views on the subject entirely **

There were times when Finn wondered if there was a God. The obvious times like when it was Kurt's turn to have a sleepover or when he used to arrive early in his shorts when making out with Quinn. But there were other times; like when his dad died or when Rachel told him she was seeing someone or whenever he caught sight of Artie trying to get up stairs.

Then there were times he just thought about it. He pushed everything else out of his head (which honestly wasn't that hard) and the idea of God reared its ugly head. He was sure he believed in God because it seemed like a thing his mum would want him to believe in- that there was a heaven and that someone out there cared and stuff. That kind of stuff was real important to her.

Finn wondered what God was like. Puck and Rachel were Jewish and he wasn't sure if he believed in the same as them (but then again he found it hard to believe they could agree on anything let alone on something as important as God). Or did everyone believe in the same God and he just told different people different things? If that's so well that was a pretty shitty miscommunication with the entire human race. You think he'd set the record straight or something. Or maybe he had? Finn wasn't sure.

When he was little when he thought of God he thought of goodness and happiness and he'd see his father's face. And later when that became fuzzy he'd think of his mum instead because she was all those things too.

Rachel said she thought God might be a woman but said he could think what he wanted about the subject. Which was really unlike her, and unhelpful because how was he supposed to know if someone didn't tell him?

And now his head hurt.

**My sister was in a high school production of the wiz recently (*shrugs*)**

Tina sometimes imagined herself and her friends as characters in stories, when she was alone or board, it helped to imagine herself as an observer looking in on her own life. Her favourite story to use though was wizard of oz with them being characters in the story and glee club being the goal at end of the story.

Mercedes was Dorothy (this was a clear indication to Tina about her low self esteem when she couldn't picture herself the main character.) she's look good in plaid and Kurt could be her Toto (he'd totally be a handbag purse.)

Rachel was the tinman who didn't know she had a heart (or at forgot sometimes because damn if she didn't say the most hurtful things when she forgot herself) and she could be the lion because she had spent more of her life with a fake stutter.

Finn would be the scarecrow because she always thought the tinman and the scarecrow had a little something on the side and well he was a bit brainless. Santana and Brittney could be poppies or crows depending on their mood and Mike and Matt would be the uninterested people that lived in emerald city.

Quinn would be the witch that gets hit with water and becomes a real girl (or something to that affect anyway.) she didn't think Mr Schuster was the wizard but maybe he was just enough like him for the story to work.

Then they would all get together and the story would be over. Everyone would get what they were looking for and one day they would all go their separate ways.

That's why she didn't include Artie in her stories, he was her prince and realer than any fairy story and would be there after that chapter closed.

**Babygates opened and the town was flooded**

Finn still looked at Quinn, just out of the corner of his eye, and only for a second, but he did. Quinn knew and felt a pang of regret over it all. Finn would always be her biggest mistake. Not Puck, not Beth, not anything else. Just Finn.

They had been great together once. And not in that teen movie cliché way either. He cared and he tried and it wasn't perfect but it was something and she had fucked it up so royally he could only look at her out of the corner of his eye and could only smile at her if he didn't look directly at her. And the whole thing hurt like fuck.

When Beth had been about to be born he looked her straight in the face. For the first time since it had all gone to hell, and there was pain there, because Beth may not be his baby, but in some ways Beth was still his baby. He had taken her to get the sonogram and gone through all that pain and struggle and had financially support her. He'd opened his home to her when she had nowhere to stay and if she hadn't been in so much agony she might have asked him to be there when Beth was born. Because he deserved to see her before she was taken away.

But she didn't and that was just another in the long list of mistakes she'd made with Finn. There was no way to make this better, but now she knew she had to at least try.

**Please review: especially if you are going to favourite or alert this story- thanks **


	10. boyfriends, breakups and new starts

**Author's note: **this is in fact my last chapter. I may do another set of drabbles, or I may write a story or something I donno, I just know I'm done with this particular set. Anyway, thanks for all the support and reviews, and I'm a bit creatively stuck on what to do next so all suggestions are welcome as always.

**She'll look back an refer to him as her first boyfriend**

When Jim- the cute guy who worked with her at movie masterplex- asked her out on a date, Mercedes called a code red. She had no idea about what to do; luckily there was a sleepover at Tina's house that night.

"You said yes right?" Tina asked her excitedly, "Well yes… but I've never been on a date; I have no idea what to do!" Quinn patted her hair, "don't worry first dates are easy, and you have the added bonus of it being in summer, daytime dates are a lot less stressful." Mercedes was glad Quinn started coming to their get togethers (not all the time though) as she had the best advice, and they now had an official tie breaker when they were deadlocked.

"Or you could try a double date like Finn and Rachel" Artie added, but Kurt shook her head "no way that'll just put more pressure on the next date, you like this guy, right Cedes?" Mercedes nodded enthusiastically, Jim was a senior from another school, tall, with nice eyes and kind of dorky but totally sweet. "then you'll want to get to know him."

"What was your first date like with Puck?" asked Quinn, thinking maybe they could compare "we never really dated, just sort of said we were" she moaned, "Jim's a senior, he probably has loads of experience with dating, he's gonna think I'm immature." Artie shook his head "no way, he hangs out with you so it's not like he doesn't know you, and he asked you out which means he must like you. Plus who would think that?" Mercedes shot him a grateful smile.

"What was your first date like?" Mercedes asked Tina, "which one?" she laughed, "the one that didn't kill the romance" she specified, "oh well, Artie planned it, we went to that little garden outside of town, the one with the water features." She smiled warmly at Artie who blushed. "That's so romantic!" Quinn told him; "Finn took me to the food court" she told them dejectedly, "he never really understood romance."

"A movie would be safe" Kurt pointed out, feeling slightly put out he didn't have any real advice to give (he and Brittney never went out on a real date either), "no chance to talk though, and you said that's what the date was about" Artie pointed out. "And if his intentions aren't pure that could go pretty south, pretty quick" Quinn frowned, a face of experience.

"A dinner and a movie is sort of second date material anyway right?" Kurt asked, he wasn't exactly king of protocol and Artie and Tina were a lousy case study on dating norms. "Most likely he'll pick the place anyway, did he tell you?" Mercedes shook her head, "he said he'd give me the details tomorrow at work and we could go out Friday, it's the only day we both have off."

"Wow, so then it's serious instead of a casual coffee date, he must like you" Quinn told her smiling, "then we have to work out what you're going to wear!" Artie made a hasty retreat to the door "Ah- Kurt let's go find that movie you wanted to watch," Mercedes whipped her head frantically "no! Kurt I need your input" Kurt shrugged "nah you girls have fun, I need to fill my manly quota for the night anyway.

Things were going to be different if Mercedes had a boyfriend. He just wondered if there were ever a way things could be different for him too.

**I wanna hold your hand**

People were always saying that Tina and Artie lacked a certain romantic aspect in there relationship- except for Quinn who insisted the way Artie looked at Tina was totally the most romantic thing she ever saw. But generally the fact that they didn't date in a conventional manner bothered most people.

They didn't go to expensive restaurants or dress up to go out. They didn't really celebrate anniversaries. Though Artie did buy flowers and Tina did give presents at random intervals it wasn't really the way normal high school romances went.

They didn't really do PDA in a conventional sense, not that they never did anything; just they never really showed they were more than friends in public- still acting like they had little unresolved crushes on each other. What with the blushing, the opening of doors, saving of seats, the passing of notes- that sort of stuff usually stopped when you started dating. It wasn't really supposed to get worse.

And they didn't really fight. Well okay they did, like all the time in fact. But they didn't fight over ice cream toppings or who was off key in practice last week, or why someone was spending too much time with someone else. No they fought about the things that mattered to them, things people didn't start fighting about until they were serious or even married. Things that would affect each other longer than a week or a year or even the span of their relationship.

They were in love too. They told each other all the time, and that it itself was strange because there was no big moment it was just sort of understood- like they both had expected it. There was no big story behind the first time they said it, and they can't even remember who said it first and what had prompted it.

No they were not especially romantic. They were undeniably cute, but they weren't about passion. They weren't about sex or pain or some great and important moment. Sure all those things were important, and they could be experience them whenever they wanted too, they didn't have to happen all at once, or right now. For now they were fine with the small things.

Because when it came right down to it they didn't need all that stuff just to want to hold hands, or be with each other.

**There are was to come out and then there's this**

**Kurt had imagined when he finally got to the point where he was ready to kiss him; he'd instantly known what to do. but it wasn't like his first kiss with Brittney (he always felt like he missed some important steps in kissing there) or with a male 'friend' of his who felt sorry he'd missed out on a proper first kiss (who he wouldn't name even in his head because he had promised he wouldn't- and frankly he didn't want to remember.)**

But he didn't know what to do now. He had imagined they'd be some where secluded (they were not) and alone (THEY WERE NOT) and he know where to put his hands (the shoulders were a safe bet right? Maybe the waist?)

He didn't expect it because well… he had just helped him get over all this emotional crap that had been holding him back, the whole drama of homosexuality that Kurt had figured out in preschool when he didn't want to pull girls pigtails. So really Kurt was surprised he was ready to be so- so public. He had ex-girlfriends (well okay Kurt had Brittney but that hardly counted- everyone had, had Brittney), he also had football and the friends that came with it.

All the stuff that's going to blow up at you when you start making out with 'that' gay kid in the middle of the hallway right before class.

He pulled back a little and rested his forehead on Kurt's. "I never do anything halfway," he grinned at Kurt like they weren't about to get their asses handed to them. "Oh and you will go out with me right?"

Kurt laughed, he finally got himself a boyfriend and it turned out he wasn't the more theatrical one of the two.

Typical

**Nobody asked for this deconstruct did they?**

Jacob wasn't an idiot. He knew he had no shot with a girl like Rachel Berry. And yes, he was aware acting like a total horn-bag probably wasn't the way to any girl's heart.

It's just; he didn't know how to control himself around her. If he was good looking like Puck it would be a non-issue he could say whatever the hell he wanted and still get the girl. But no. girls were shallow. Which, okay to be fair, he was shallow too, but didn't determination count for anything, anymore?

At first it had been about that talk she gave at celibacy club- where he had legitimately been trying to get a lid on his hormones. He realised what she said had in no way been directed at him, but rather as some sort of plea to Finn-the-quarterback to dump his girlfriend. Still it had peaked his interest, and when he set his sights on someone it was sort of over for them.

And he liked Rachel Berry. She wasn't pretty in a conventional way, but still… she was Jewish and that was a plus, she had pretty eyes and a large mouth and her features didn't quite go together but hey, he was no spring chicken either. The more he looked at her, the prettier she got, maybe it was love, or perhaps he just hadn't been looking hard enough.

Then, as he began watched her, he actually started to like her. She was strong and independent and knew exactly what she wanted and where she wanted to be. She was actually kind of like the girl he wanted to marry one day. Someone who would be caring enough to look after him, but strong enough not to get run over in life.

Of course there were the draw backs. Finn Hudson being number one and the pathetic infatuation they seemed to have for one another. Then there was 'glee club' which he so didn't understand at all, and her overachieving-ness which would probably drive him crazy in large doses.

But he got her in the details. He understood drive and obsession (frankly nobody did it better than him) and the need to manipulate and control. He got all of that and frankly he doesn't understand why she doesn't. Because their perfect for each other.

She just didn't see it yet.

**Breaking up is easy to do when it's you**

People break up all the time. Sometimes it's angry- like Quinn and Finn, sometimes it's like a dying flame- like Santana and Puck. But all of the time it hurts like fucking hell.

"Why?" Puck asked again, it wasn't like when Rachel broke up with him, this time it actually meant something. "You're kind of an asshole dude," was Artie's response and got him a football in the face. "Mercedes is too good for you," Artie kept the ball and put his hands up for anymore projectiles.

He knew it too. Mercedes was sort of the real deal, someone that had expected more from him, and people had stopped doing that in the second grade. He had wanted to meet her halfway really, to make it more than just a thing he was doing for the cred. But as per usual, he had fucked up.

"I don't know how you do it in the first place" Artie continued oblivious or just plain ignoring his pain. "I mean Quinn was way too good for you, Santana settles for you, Rachel must have been out of her mind the three days you were together- because really they could all do much better."

Puck felt like throwing some stuff, maybe Artie down a flight of stairs. He knew it was true, but why did he have to tell him that, he didn't come here for this shit. "So what do they deserve? You? I don't think anyone deserves that, I feel sorry that Tina has to deal with you" he gestured at his wheelchair.

If he felt bad, goddamn it everyone else was gonna feel bad too! Artie didn't even respond, just looked at him, blank faced.

"You're supposed to be making me feel better wheels," he kicked at the wheels with enough force that Artie skidded across the floor, Artie glared in retaliation, "why should I? because how I see it you just made another one of my friends feel like crap!"

Artie left. And that seemed to be the trend lately, people leaving.

**Eclipse**

Rachel and Finn spent the summer together, and for once Rachel felt truly happy. Finn wasn't perfect, but he didn't have to know the right words to say, or do the right things, but even still he made her happy.

She was actually becoming lower maintenance as time wore on- not about everything, there was only so much love could do- but she was happy with Finn no matter what, as long as they were together.

The first- abysmally short- time they were together Rachel had been clingy and needy right away, and that had just push him right away. This time she was trying to be cool about the whole thing, waiting to call back, not going out everyday, spending time with other people.

Artie tells her she's never seemed more relaxed, and she likes it this way. She's trying to be a new person, and he tells her it shows. After all summer is supposed to be about slowing things down and working things out.

And things were great.

**Supernova**

Things were not great. Finn's not sure what he did but Rachel is cooling off him like ice on a stove.

He doesn't get it. He kisses her, she acts all cool about it, and he tells her he loves her, she smiles at him- just smiles! And now that there together as a couple she's driving him crazy. It's like there is literally not enough of her. He feels like a dying man. Wasn't this drought supposed to be over now that they were together?

He tried flowers, surprise visits, romantic destinations. He's never had to try this hard with anyone before. Not friends, girlfriends, teachers, his mum. It's not like she's not worth it, he's known that for months now- but he remembers when he used to turn her down when she was all over him. Desperate to touch him, kiss him, date him… God he was an IDIOT then!

What had he been thinking? And now he was in some kind of insane purgatory. He asked Mike about it, he said maybe she wasn't that into him. But she had shown time and time again that she was, so he was stuck. Was she punishing him? Because really, what about hours rendered! He'd spent all that time away from her while she was with Jesse. Was that it? Was she not over Jesse?

That's it! He had to do something.

**Hello I love you**

Terri knew right away Will Schuster wasn't the sort of guy you dated.

Just look at the last name, hideous, nothing would go with it, Will certainly didn't. Even so people just kept saying what a perfect match they would be for each other.

He was older, by a year, and in the glee club and totally not her type. Terri was going to follow the grand tradition of dating a football player so she didn't marry some loser like her older sister. Footballers were safe.

Will Schuster isn't even handsome, or charming or nice or anything. He's nothing to whisper about, nothing to get hot over or dream about.

He's defiantly not the sort of guy you'd want to date.

He's the sort of guy who asks you about your family, or the sort of guy willing to tutor you in Spanish when she falls behind because of cheerleading. He's the sort of guy who open's door and knows when something is wrong just by looking at her.

He's not the sort of guy anyone wants in high school. Even if he does serenade Terri with songs, or bring flowers to her locker and lets her cry into his ugly sweater vest when her dog you've had since you were five dies.

He's from an unstable home, everybody knows his mother drinks and his brother sleeps around. People like that aren't good for you- or at least that's what Terri's sister always says.

A good boyfriend should be strong and good looking and always be in control- at least that's what Terri's sister says. So no, Will Schuster is not the type of guy you date.

But he's certainly the guy she knows she wants to marry.

**A better person**

During the Summer Will had a lot of time to think about the man he wanted to be, who he decided he needed to be. It wasn't the man he had been last year. First a doormat husband then confused, then a crappy boyfriend, then confused, then a crappy teacher and then even more confused.

This drama was over. Well okay not quite, he still had to win over Emma and deal with Sue every day, but he was going to make this year as drama-free as possible damn it!

There was still glee. And God! He loved those kids. As a teacher you're not supposed to have favourites (even if everybody does) but if he could it would be that group of kids.

He got to watch them make mistakes last year to. Watch them grow into stronger, better people. He liked to think he had a little impact on the way they turned out, but really it was just the support of having each other that pushed them forward and made them better.

And they did the same for him. They made him better. He hoped they always would.


End file.
